Sunday, November 6, 2011

Letter to Lilah - The High School Years

Dear Lilah,

Right now, you are only two.  But that hasn't stopped me from thinking about what you will be like as a teenager.  I admit that there is part of me that shakes with fear at the thought of raising a teenage girl.  I don't expect it to be easy.  On either of us.

And high school.  Ah, high school, a huge part of what makes those teenage years so challenging.  Don't worry, you'll get through it.  It might not be a breeze, but you'll come out the other side a stronger person for it.  Here are some things to remember to make it a little easier:

1.  Everyone goes through an awkward phase.  You know, that phase where your nose is too big for your face and you haven't quite figured out how to dress yourself and style your hair?  Yeah, that one.  Usually you don't know you are in your awkward phase at the time, but you'll figure it out in retrospect. 


(I don't have many examples of my awkward phase to share, because, way back in the age of the dinosaur, when I was in high school, photos were taken on this stuff called film.  The only photos I bothered scanning from those days were the ones I was considering using in my wedding slide show, and the extremely awkward ones didn't exactly make the cut.  Nevertheless, here is me at the beginning of my awkward phase.  Notice the nose-too-big-for-face phenomenon and slouchy shoulders.  This was before the acne hit, though.)

2.  If you stop sucking your thumb right this instant, you may be able to avoid having braces on your teeth.  Your mama didn't need them, and trust me, that was a major blessing!  But if you end up needing them, you will totally rock them.  Promise.

3.  While I won't force you to be sporty, I will certainly do everything I can to encourage you to be involved in some form of organized athletics or team sport.  I firmly believe is one of the best things for a girl's self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and body image.  I was always involved in some sport or other, and that built the foundation for the strong mind-body connection I maintain to this day.

4.  Pay attention in your classes.  You may think you will never need to know that algebraic equation after the exam is over, but you'd be surprised at what will come back to haunt you once you settle on a career path!

5.  Sometimes the middle of the road is good.  I was nowhere near the coolest of kids, but I also wasn't the most unpopular.  I was somewhere near the middle of the pack, and that was probably the very best place for me.  I didn't get teased relentlessly, but I also didn't get involved in much of the drama.

6.  In high school, as in life, when it comes to friends, quantity is far less important than quality.  This chick right here?  She was one of the best.

This was high school graduation.  The white dresses were a tradition. (I hope you don't mind me posting this oldie, S! Oh, and I just realized how similar our hairstyles were.  I probably copied you.)

7.  It's a lot easier not to care how popular or cool you are in high school if you have friends outside of that scene.  I was lucky to have some outside avenues for forming lasting, meaningful friendships - namely, my ski team and summer camp, where I spent my summers from age 10 to age 19.

8.  If you feel like experimenting, go ahead and dye your hair pink, like I did.  Just stay away from things that
make you feel bad about yourself or kill your brain cells.  Understand?

9.  By the time you reach high school, you will have had a minimum of 10 years of martial arts training, so you'll be able to handle yourself if need be.  But, for the love of Pete, keep yourself out of situations where you'll need to use it!

10.  Remember I will be there for you through it all. 

Love,

Mama.



28 comments:

  1. Love your spin on the prompt Amanda! You and I, ski team and summer camps! I love how you said balance is the key. So true. How beautiful were you in in high school!

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  2. Oh that was one very sweet letter!
    Something tells me your child will breeze through the tough years, with a mother like you!
    LOVE the pixie cut you COPIED from your twin-friend in the white dress! And your awkward photo isn't awkward at all...what big nose??

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  3. Such a lovely letter to Lilah. It made me smile all the way from Dear Lilah to Love, Mama. Great lessons to get her through those awkward years. I realise now that being middle of the road IS a good thing and that's so true what you said about having friends - that quality certainly outweighs quantity! :)

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  4. Very good tips for your daughter when she makes it to high school. I wish I had paid more attention in my classes so that I wouldn't have had to take math over again when I went to college.

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  5. Love this letter - it makes me want to write one too! The thought of my kids being teenagers and going to high school already gives me nightmares. I'm sure we're all in for a real treat when we finally get to see what it's like from the other side!

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  6. I love your letter (and you didn't look awkward). My favorites are #5 and #6. I was pretty much middle of the pack, too. I felt like I was part of a group, but I didn't get too caught up in the drama. It made it much easier to do my own thing if I didn't feel comfortable with what some of my friends were doing.

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  7. What a sweet post! I agree wholeheartedly about good friends, quality is so much more important than quantity!

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  8. Great advice for your daughter! But how come we didn't get to see a photo of you with pink hair? ;)

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  9. Wow, what a pretty young lady you were... and still are, of course! Love this advice to your daughter. If I had a daughter, I would be worried too about the teenage years. It sounds like you have it covered!

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  10. What a fabulous letter, Amanda! I defintely think you hit the nail on the head for Lilah, and honestly for most little girls. I found myself nodding in agreement with each item. Great job!

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  11. I am with you 100% on #3!! All excellent advice! :^)

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  12. I love that you added her having ten years of martial arts training, but hoping she won't have to use it!

    This was a beautiful letter that I'm sure Lilah will love to read someday.

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  13. This was awesome! I love how you did it. And pink hair? You rock!
    Great advice, Amanda :)

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  14. Beautiful letter, I KNOW Lilah will be fine, cuz she has you to guide her :)

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  15. Love how you did this list! Favorite has to be the sporty one. I so hope my girls want to be involved and active!

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  16. Pink hair. I wish you would have posted a pic of that! Lovely letter to Lilah. Gosh, I so wanted to show this to my 13 yr old who is in high school now. Not too late. So much good advice :)

    You were as pretty in high school as you are now, Amanda!

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  17. Great post! I think your daughter will enjoy reading this down the road. I'd also like to see your pink hair. :)

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  18. Oh yeah, pink hair rocks! It's true about the awkward phase. I just got over mine, and I'm 32!

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  19. I love that you did this in letter form. Middle of the road is good advice. I coasted down the middle of the road, too, and in hindsight, it was the safest place to be :)

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  20. @jacquiWell, the pink hair was only temporary, and I think my patents refused to take any pictures of me at that time!

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  21. @Bees With HoneyThank you, Bruna. I hope teen B follows this advice, even if she never reads it.

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  22. @Two Normal MomsSafe, AND minimally damaging for later in life!

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  23. @Grumpy Grateful MomWell, if I'm being honest, it was more pink-tinged rather than full-on pink. I did manage to dye the bathroom pink, though! :)

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  24. I love this list! So good. I especially love number 8.

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  25. Great letter! Took me awhile to get to it though, because I could NOT stop staring at Lilah's cute little cheeks at the top.

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  26. I love #8. It resonates to me a lot for some reason.

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  27. That is so sweet Amanda. Now I'm all teary eyed...

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