Things I Am Great At

Last week I said I would write a list of things I am great at to balance out the list 10 things at which I totally suck.  I wanted to do this, not out of self-aggrandizement or to make myself look better in the eyes of others, but out of a desire to to stay positive and optimistic.  I believe that what you put out into the universe matters, and I work hard to tip the balance of my own output more towards the positive than the negative.  And this space - this little corner of the internet that I call my own - is a cornerstone of that positivity.  I need to be kind to myself here.  Because, if I can't do that here, where can I do it?

But this list is proving even harder to write than I could have imagined.  I am tempted to joke around or be self-deprecating; to say things like "I am great at starting things and not finishing them."  I want to qualify each statement, with a "but" or a "sometimes" or an explanation of what makes me think I am good at these things or of who put that idea into my head.  But to do that would be to remove much of the power of this exercise.  And so here I sit, forcing myself to make bold, unqualified statements about things at which I consider myself to be very good.  I am skipping the numbered list format, just this once, because it isn't important how many items I come up with, simply that I do.

I am good at knowing myself; knowing my limits, projecting how I am likely to react in a given situation, and planning accordingly.

I am a natural athlete.

I throw myself whole-heartedly into my passions.

I am good at letting others know where my personal boundaries are and I am good at saying no when necessary.

I am great at eating.  (I know, I know, I wasn't supposed to do that.  But I couldn't help myself.  I was raised to consider this a great skill.)

I am great at keeping others' secrets.

I am good at bending the rules just a touch to suit my own purposes while still continuing to be a generally rule-abiding, productive citizen.

I am strong and determined.

I have a great track record for creating cute offspring.  One for one so far!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?...
......................................................

...And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Your turn!  What are you great at?

When I Am Me.

Inspired by Be Enough Me, I started thinking about when I am most me.  That's a hard thing to define, given that there are so many different definitions of me.  What side of me shows depends on the specific situation in which I find myself at any given moment. There is a lot of me in my job, working with young children as a speech therapist, and of course I pour almost all of my me-ness into parenting Lilah. 

But one thing that is just for me is my martial arts practice. I am so very me when I am riding a wave of endorphins and sweating it out alongside my classmates.  Perhaps it is because, through martial arts, I get in touch with my more macho side; the side that doesn't feel the need to deflect a compliment and walks with a bit of a strut; the side that is less inhibited and more self-assured.

It is incredibly liberating to set aside many of the expectations of my gender for a short time.  As I change out of my own clothes and into my gi (uniform), I also shrug off much of my femininity and the social "obligations" that accompany it.

While the number of women joining various martial arts seems to me to be increasing, the ratio of men to women  is still far from equal.  Now that I have moved up to an intermediate level Jiu Jitsu class, there are fewer women to partner with, but I really don't mind being a female in a mostly male class in a decidedly male-dominated sport.  There is a certain code that is followed by martial artists, male and female alike.  Humility is valued, everyone starts from the bottom and works their way up, and it's best if you check your ego at the door, but that doesn't mean you need to indulge in self-deprecation so as not to appear too cocky (as women so often do).  Because self-confidence is just as valued as humility is. 

In my Jiu Jitsu class, I take great pride in holding my own against 200 lbs (give or take) of sweaty man.  If I can just last a full round without being submitted, I feel I have accomplished something. As I gain skill and confidence, there are more of those moments when I am able to leave behind the self-doubt and just be. 

In my Muay Thai class, I am often the only female out on the sparring floor.  And again, I kind of like it that way; being able to hang with the boys.  They usually take it easy on me for the first minute or so.  But once I have landed a searing leg kick or slapped them lightly across the face with my foot, they start to view me more as an opponent and less as a girl.  And that is my moment of truth. 

That is where I find a whole lotta me.

The Lazy Blogger's Party Summary

At the risk of flogging a dead horse, I am going to mention this one last time: I was nominated as one of Vancouver's top 30 mom bloggers by VancouverMom, and it was really cool.  Not only did I get to count myself among these incredible women, I also got to meet them in person!  The party was held at Bopomo Pictures in Kitsilano, and attendees included nominees from this year and last year.  Cram 40 (or so) moms into one space, and you will end up with a wonderfully busy, noisy atmosphere; one that I would make me feel shy under normal circumstances.  Add in the fact that I only knew one person in the room in real life (Harriet of See Theo Run), and you have a truly intimidating situation.

Social anxiety notwithstanding, I did manage to have a great time.  It helped that Harriet was kind enough to pick me up on her way there, introduce me to several people she knew, and make sure that I was never standing alone staring awkwardly at the veggies and dip or something.  Quite appropriate, really, considering that reading Harriet's blog was part of what inspired me to start blogging in the first place.

And here's where my laziness kicks in.  I could give you the whole lowdown on the party and the awesome swag we walked away with, but a few of my fellow nominees have already covered that, so I figure, meh, why re-invent the wheel?

Apparently I wasn't the only one overcome with awkwardness at the thought of attending this party.  I felt a whole lot more normal after reading MonkeeMama Naomi's hilarious and self-deprecating review of the evening.   Jodi of RantsnRascals overcame some real obstacles to attend the party and also came with the one (very brave!) man in tow.  You can read her summary here.  Oh, and let's not forget the swag!  Tanaya of Bubbles Make Him Smile gives the lowdown (and photos!) here.

Well done, ladies, thanks for your thorough and entertaining summaries of a great evening!  (Oh my god, it just hit me, I am totally that kid in school that doesn't lift a finger and then cheats off the other kids' tests!  Gah!)

Double Digits!

Woohoo! I've finally broken through into double digit territory on my "follower" count. But only because I nagged the Hubs into finally becoming one. Actually, if you must know, I bribed him with the promise of sexual favours. Hey, I figured he does read the blog regularly, why not make it official? I could use the ego boost, and he could use the action. (Haha, the trick is to promise the favours and then take as long as you possibly can to make good on the offer.)

10 whole followers. I'm drunk on the power!

There are a few people who have admitted to reading my blog at least semi-regularly but have yet to jump out of the shadows and onto the bandwagon. If that mixed metaphor applies to you, all you have to do is sign up as a follower and all will be forgiven. Hmmm... it just occurred to me that maybe it's the term "follower" that's holding you back? It does have a certain derogatory ring to it. Well, I can't do anything about the official Blogger terminology, but we can go with the more PC term "reader" if that makes you feel better.

I looked for a "feed my ego" gadget to spruce up my sidebar, but all I could find was "feed my fish," which, although fun, wasn't quite as apropos. So you'll just have to click "follow" instead. My ego thanks you in advance.