He Can Ask For It.

Let's talk about normal-term breastfeeding.  (Call it extended breastfeeding if you will, but I prefer full-term or normal-term.)

Right now, you are either shuddering or fist-pumping.

Breastfeeding has always been a very important part of my relationship with my kids.  Before Lilah was even conceived, I knew I desperately wanted to breastfeed.  I just didn't know how long I would want or be able to do it.  I tended to agree with that modern adage that if they can ask for it, it's kinda creepy.

Wait. What? That makes absolutely NO sense to me now.

Once I had Lilah, I realized they are always asking for it.  It's simply an evolution.  From making sucky faces to crying to nuzzling into my chest to those first rudimentary attempts at making the sign for "milk" (which both of my kids used long before they could say the word) to lifting up my shirt to saying "milk."  And in Lilah's case, all the way up to 26 months, just before she weaned, when she could say, "Milk please, Mommy."  All of this is normal.

There is no clear line where they go from "asking for it" to really asking for it. Besides, even if there was, why would it make sense to cut them off just when I'm finally really sure what they want? Is that considered normal?

Please understand, I support other moms in whatever length of breastfeeding works for them and their children, whether that be never, a few days, a few months, or a few years.  I'm just saying that I, personally, have changed my tune completely because my child asking for breast milk just doesn't seem like a legitimate reason to stop giving it to them.

Henry is almost 20 months, with a mouthful of teeth, an exploding vocabulary, two- and three-word phrases, and a huge repertoire of songs.

He can definitely ask for it.  And he exercises that right several times a day.  Most of the time, I am happy to oblige.

Sometimes, it's an inconvenience.  The gymnurstics, kicks to the face, and occasional biting can be annoying or even downright painful.  But there are other parts that make it so worthwhile.  His delighted giggle when I say, "Milk? Sure!" and start to lift my shirt.  The cure-all for owies, grumpies, and everything in between. The best way to wake up.  The way he tilts his head to one side and says, "side?" when he wants to switch. His emphatic "buh-bye!" as he pulls down my shirt to show he is all done. These are just a few of the many things that make nursing a toddler feel absolutely natural to me.

Right now, we are both enjoying this aspect of our relationship.  And I plan to continue as long as we both continue to enjoy it. 

Whether that makes you shudder or fist-pump, I really don't mind. Because this is just so... normal.

I'm linking up with some other Vancouver Mom bloggers who are passionate about normal-term breastfeeding.  Drop in on Mama in the City, Hillary with two Ls,  Spokesmama, and One Crazy Kid for more normal-term breastfeeding stories.  If you're a fist-pumper, link up! Or share your thoughts on full-term/normal-term breastfeeding in the comments.

The Invention of Lying Down Games

A couple of weeks ago I had a really rough bout of the stomach flu.  For just over 24 hours, all I could do was sleep, toss my cookies, or writhe around in bed with horrible stomach pains and moan.  I am not exaggerating.  And it took me the better part of a week once that part was over to really feel 100% back to my old self.

In that time, I had to get through a few (mercifully short-lived) times when I was alone with my kids and feeling ill or exhausted.  Enter the invention of lying. down. games.

Through my delirious haze, I somehow managed to convince my kids that it would be really fun to pretend Mommy was a sleeping dragon under the blanket on the couch, and they had to tiptoe around the dragon's cave.  If they were too noisy, the dragon would wake up and make them run laps from the living room to the kitchen.  (In previous, more energetic iterations of the this game, the Mommydragon would tickle them as punishment for their noisiness, but this time the Mommydragon didn't even have the strength for that.) 

Shockingly, they ate it up.  Lilah is still asking to play this game, and my inner Mommydragon is only too happy to oblige.  I'm sure it won't be much longer before she figures out how little effort it requires on my part.  But hey, as long as they're safe and having fun, it passes as parenting, right?

Have you invented any good lying down games I can add to my repertoire for the next time I find myself solo parenting through illness?

This one...

This one radiates joy.

This one's favourite word to say is already "no."

This one dances and "snaps" his fingers anytime he hears the faintest strains of music.

This one climbs anything that looks like a challenge.

This one's giggles could mend a broken heart.

This one has his daddy's sense of humour.

This one is a real charmer.

Watch out for this one!

The Upside of Threeness

Well. I haven't exactly kept it a secret that three has been hard on all of us.  I know I am not the only parent to find this age challenging, as I have often heard three described as "two with intent."  And I would add persistence, and frustration, and sass to that mix as well.  But I would be remiss if I didn't also acknowledge the wonder of three; its thrilling moments and delightful reprieves from the challenging parts.

What is awesome about three?

1.  She still produces adorable mispronunciations like "breppast" for breakfast and "cuptainer" for container.

2.  She has an excellent grasp of language but sometimes can't quite recall a word, so she ballparks it.  She recently asked me, "Are you cereal?" when I told her something she found to be rather outrageous.

3.  Naps are hit or miss, but when we take one together in the big bed and she finally stops wiggling... bliss!

4.  Her attempts at sneakiness are completely transparent.

5.  She tells me she loves me to the moon and back "a frillion frillion times."

 

6.  She still wants to help and takes great pride in being given a job to do.

7.  When she is comfortable, she has no filter, resulting in some hilarious and outrageous statements.  She recently told a visiting guest that he could use "her" bathroom as long as he was only going pee.  Bathroom habits currently top her list of interesting topics of conversation.

8.  She hasn't quite grasped the art of secret-keeping, surprises, or unexpected hiding spots while playing hide and seek.

9.  Her giggles still contain the high notes of babyhood.

10.  Her independence is blossoming but she still needs her mama more often than not.

 

I didn't follow the prompt this week,

but go visit the Listmaster for some more listicle fun.

Guest Post: Myth Busters

As you know, I get by with a little help from my friends.  Bloggy friends, that is!  I've asked some of my favourite bloggin' mamas to pitch in their two cents on making the transition from one child to two.

This week's guest poster is none other than Bianca of Bits of Bee.  Bianca is totally rockin' the mama of two gig, plus she works full time, makes time for herself, and always looks great doing it!  When I read her post, The Truth About Two, I knew I had to hear more on her thoughts about two kids - and this time she's dishing on having a boy.  Welcome, Bianca!

 

Myth Busters – The Truth About Boys

I’m so honoured to be a guest on Lilahbility this week, and as Amanda is settling into life with her beautiful little prince, I thought this would be the perfect time to fill her in on the changes she might face as a newbie to the wild and wonderful world of “boy”.

I too had a girl first, and was nervous about the changes that might come with having a boy. I constantly worried about making the switch from princesses and tea parties, to trucks and mud pies, and what on earth would I do with those Boy Bits?  Well I’m here to tell Amanda that it’ll be different, yes, but it’ll also be worth the wild ride. Here are some things I have discovered so far about having a boy:

1) While it is true that you are more likely to get pee-sprayed by the boy bits, you don't need the peepee teepee (fabric triangle sold in stores, with the purpose of covering up the bits while you switch to a fresh diaper). I have survived on skill alone, and have yet to get pee in the eye.

2) While it is very likely for your boy to steer away from your daughter’s baby dolls and opt instead for blocks and balls, you don't need to do a major toy overhaul. I suggest you encourage him to play with the toys that are available, and buy things only as he develops his own interests.

3) This might not be a scientific fact, but I can say from talking to many friends with boys, and from my own experience thus far, that potty training does take longer with boys. My daughter was completely out of diapers (day and night) by her 2nd birthday. My boy on the other hand is 2.5, and is far from being a regular potty user.

4) While the assumption is that boys are big toughies, the truth is, they're more emotional than you think! My boy is much more of a whiner and crier than my girl was, and my girl was definitely an emotional baby.

5) They've got the moves. I’m surprised by my boy’s agility. Not to say that my girl is clumsy, but my little guy can fly down the street on his run bike like a pro – weaving through tight spaces and taking corners with precision. He also has “moves like Jagger” as he likes to tell us regularly.

6) They're big cuddle bugs. My boy loves nothing more than hugs, snuggles and kissed with mama. Something wonderful to look forward to!

7) They're fearless - get out the Band Aids! My girl was always very cautious. She would slowly stick her toe into the water at lakes or pools. She would move like a snail when climbing a new obstacle, and would reach for my hand when entering new territory. But my boy, he moves at mach speeds, climbing fearlessly on everything he can.

8) Would you like some whine with your wine? Boys whine, and from my experience and from what my other mama friends have said, they can out-whine any girl on the block.

9) They really do become mama's boys. While there may have been a time in my life when I would make fun of a boy for being a “mama’s boy”, I’m now loving the favoritism. Nothing soothes him more than mama, and for now, I don’t mind one bit.

10) Get used to saying: “Take your hand out of your pants!” Naturally, they discover their bits at an early stage, and as a result, they regularly assume the Al Bundy position.

It’s going to be different, it’s going to be new, and it’s going to be totally fun. Enjoy every minute of it, and a big congratulations mama!

Thanks so much for sharing your tips, Bianca.  I'm already staring to climb this steep learning curve.  More to come on Baby Boy very soon!

Young Love, Recyled

I posted these photos on a Wordless Wednesday in July last year, when these two were completely enamored of each other:

They're still great friends, but their relationship has changed a little.  Now Lilah has taken to telling him she's the mommy and he's the baby and she gives him timeouts but refuses to give him hugs and kisses when it's time to say goodbye.  Not sure what that says about my parenting...?

All of a Sudden...

All of a sudden, she has these long. lean limbs.  And when she stretches out in the bath, her length covers most of it.

All of a sudden, she has lost most of her baby fat.


All of a sudden, she uses sophisticated language, peppering her sentences with words like "actually," "because," and "almost."


All of a sudden, she can talk about what happened yesterday or what is going to happen tomorrow.


All of a sudden, she wants to dress herself, brush her own teeth, and make her own breakfast.


All of a sudden, she is a skilled negotiator.  Bargaining is her tool, and a combination of cuteness and manipulation is her currency.


All of a sudden, I'm supposed to refer to her as a "preschooler" rather than a toddler.


All of a sudden, she gets out of bed in the morning and opens her door on her own, padding down the hallway to startle me from my deep sleep.  Gone are the toddler's cries to be retrieved from her bed.


All of a sudden, she asks me questions to which I don't know the answers.

All of a sudden, she is gentle and motherly towards babies and toddlers.


All of a sudden, she is all girl.

Spying on a fairy princess

All of a sudden, I'm going to have another baby and she won't be the tiny one anymore.

Things that Make Me Go Hmmm, Lilahbility Edition

This week's Listicle topic, Things that Make You Go Hmmm..., is brought to us by Erin and Ellen at The Sisterhood of the Sensible Moms.  I'm going to put a Lilahbility/toddler spin on this one:


Food tastes better to her when it comes from my plate or her dad's, even when it contains the exact. same. meal.

She doesn't like tomato sauce on her pasta, or sauce of any kind, for that matter, or even for any of her foods to touch, but dipping foods in ketchup or ranch dip is the very height of haute cuisine.


She wants to do everything herself and then collapses into a screaming, frustrated heap when a task proves too difficult for her developing fine motor skills.  By that point she is too far beside herself to even find the words to ask for the help I was offering in the first place.

She somehow manages to get cuter with age.  Why can't I have that power?


Most toys lose their novelty after they've been played with a few times, but she could watch the same episode of Dora 7000 times and never get bored.


After a long nap, she wakes up grumpy, wailing for "Mommy!" but then tells me to go away as soon as I get there.


Without doing anything at all, she makes random strangers on the street smile as she passes.


She'll have her hot dog with extra ketchup, hold the wiener, please.


She has the power to make me simultaneously seethe with frustration and beam with pride.  How does she do that?

If that song is stuck in your head and gotten you thinking about the things that make you go hmmmm..., head on over to the Listmaster's place to link up!

Snapshots of Motherhood

I love my camera.  I love taking pictures; capturing snapshots of the day-to-day and the sweet moments of parenthood.  I think my photography skills have improved leaps and bounds over the past two years.  But no matter how proficient I get, there are some moments in time; some moods and feelings I just cannot capture through my lens and convey in a two dimensional image.  I don't think even the best photographer could.  These are the moments of motherhood I try to imprint on my brain, that they may stay burnt into memory to sustain me in my old age.

Reading stories in the rocking chair at bedtime, locks of her fair hair falling into mine; dark and light weaving together.

Glancing back from the driver's seat to glimpse a small body nestled into the car seat, blond head bobbing rhythmically to the music playing on the radio.

The sheer joy of nakedness streaking past me after a bath, face full of mirth, squeaky clean scent wafting off baby soft skin.

Sleepered feet padding down the hallway, eyes squinty against the morning light, hair fuzzy, lovey clutched tightly in small arms, greeting me with a sleepy smile.

A sweet, high-pitched voice, sing-songing nursery rhymes, snippets of songs she has learned, and startlingly accurate imitations of things she has heard and seen.  A whole internal monologue made external.

The same high-pitched voice calling me "Mama," always needing, sometimes maddeningly so.

Arms reaching up to be carried.  The fit of small legs on either side of my waist, even as her weight becomes almost too much.

Tickles and squeals of delight and out-of-control flailing limbs.

The fit of a her frame against mine in quiet moments, chin tucked over my shoulder, arms around my neck, pouring comfort between us to share.

These are the images that no flood, no fire, no crashed hard drive can take from me.  These are the pictures I hope to keep locked in the safe deposit box of my memory forever.

Linking up with the Listmaster, since this is a list of sorts,

though not exactly what Miss Marina Star had in mind.

Also linking up with

Wordless Wednesday: Graffiti Girl

 

Terrific Two-and-a-half.

Monday's shadow is quickly creeping across the weekend's memories.  But fear not, there is a bright spot on the horizon: Monday Listicles!  The Listmaster, inspired by her son, has tasked us with writing a list about why it's great to be a kid.

Well, all I know is that two-and-a-half seems pretty terrific, and here is just a small sampling of the reasons why I believe this to be true:

1.  It is socially acceptable - cute, even- to be a messy eater and end up with food all over your face.

2.  You can rock a ladybug umbrella like nobody's business.

3.  Kinder Surprise.  'Nuff said.

4.  Pile-ons!

5.  Pizza for dinner three nights in a row?  Sure!  Everyone is just happy to see you eat something that contains 3 out of the four food groups.

6.  You're clever enough to do jigsaw puzzles but still young enough to get applause every. single. time you complete one.

7.  Birthday parties (and hence, cupcakes) aplenty!

8.  Needing 12 hours of sleep each night plus an afternoon nap is far from frowned upon.

9.   You can create your own eclectic outfits without worrying about visits from the fashion police.  Polka dot rain boots totally go with a skirt and tights.  And don't forget the magic wand for good measure!

10.  Temper tantrums are still de rigeur, which means you can get away with quite a lot.  (No photo included on this item, for obvious reasons.)

So tell me, what's your favourite age, and why?

Black & White Birthday

Happy 2nd birthday to one sweet, adorable little nephew!

This photo was submitted to the I Heart Faces photo challenge – www.iheartfaces.com

Stealing Kisses...

This photo was submitted to the I Heart Faces photo challenge, "Hugs & Kisses"



Wordless Wednesday: Together

Friends that read together

And laugh together

Stick together.

Happy Wednesday, friends!

Learning to Embrace the Quirks

We spend so much time thinking about how and what to teach our children, but it's the rarer occasion when we step back and think about what they can teach us. 

Each stage in Lilah's development has come complete with its own lessons.  From the moment she was conceived, this little being has had so much to teach me.

As she grew inside of me, the lessons were to have faith in what was meant to be and to trust my body.  After experiencing a miscarriage in the first trimester of my first pregnancy just a few month before Lilah was conceived, this lesson was not an easy one, but it was so necessary.

During the newborn stage, I learned (quite abruptly) that it was no longer all about me.  In fact, it was very much not about me.  I learned to give every ounce of myself to another being and to be rewarded simply by the giving, and perhaps the occasional gummy smile.

When she started toddling, I learned to stay near, to keep her safe and protect her from harm, but also that even if I could catch her every time she fell, I probably shouldn't.  I learned that falling down is not only inevitable, but also necessary for us to grow and change.

Now that she is deep in the throes of two, one of the lessons, as I see it, is to embrace the quirks.  A two-year-old, even a shy one like mine, dances like no one is watching, lives in the moment, follows her impulses, says what is on her mind, and lets the quirks shine through, with no concerns about what others might think of her. 

This is a quality I could really stand to absorb.  Since it doesn't seem to happen simply through osmosis, it is a conscious decision I must make to embrace my own quirks.  I used to curse my lop-sided smile whenever I saw a picture of myself.  But now I do my best to squelch that little voice that tries to tell me I look dopey and opt for the loud, uninhibited two-year-old voice that says, "Who cares? I am happy right now."

My lop-sided smile is my authentic smile; the smile that is most connected to my two-year-old, living-in-the-moment, impulse-following, quirky self.  Which makes it far more attractive than anything studied or posed.

And so I choose to receive with open arms the lesson that my tiny one is teaching me and embrace my quirks for what they are: the things that make me human, imperfect, likeable, interesting, and beautiful.

Buzz on over to Bruna's to check out this new meme!

Monthly Recap: What I learned in October 2011

This is part of Amber Strocel's monthly "What I learned" link-up. Go check it out!

1.  Never leave your toddler unattended in the bathroom.  No, she did not stick her head in the toilet, just the entire roll of toilet paper.

2.  I might not be a runner, but I can run for a cure.  And I can raise a dumpload of money while I'm at it!

3. I hate waking up, getting dressed, and driving to work in the dark.  But now that I have a kid, there is a major bright side to fewer hours of daylight.  Lately she's been sleeping in, sometimes until 8 or even 8:45 (a new Lilahbility record!) on days when we don't have to wake her up to get her to daycare and ourselves to work.

4.  Potty pooping is the best kind of pooping.

5.  The massive leaps a two-year-old brain periodically takes are absolutely astounding. All of a sudden, she's engaging in imaginary play and acting out intricate scenarios between her water bottle and her fork at the dinner table.


6.  When using a stand mixer, it is a very good idea to make sure that the bowl is properly secured to the base before turning it on.  Otherwise you may find yourself in the aftermath of a crumble topping explosion like I did the morning of our Thanksgiving dinner.

7.  The pumpkin patch still rocks.

8.  When your Hubs thinks he has gallstones, this is the weekly meal plan he will create:

(Don't worry, no gallstones after all.  Our diet has been slightly more varied than this as a result.)

9.  My chosen career as a Speech-Language Pathologist comes with its own unique hazards.  I was reminded of this one in early October: Don't lean in too close when a kid is trying really hard to make the /sh/ sound.  Your face may become the unwilling recipient of excess saliva. (It's gotta go somewhere!)  This is a lesson I seem to have to relearn every few years, unfortunately.

10.  It will become apparent that you have kept your toddler out much too late when she starts begging for sleep and her crib on the drive home.  Oops.

Your turn!  What did you learn in October?

Also linking up with my girl Bruna at Bees with Honey for some Friday fun!

Red

Introducing this week's colour in the Shades of Autumn Photo Challenge... 

You guessed it. Red! 

I've never really had a definitive answer when people ask me what my favourite colour is. But I think I've found it. I'm in love with the reds we're seeing around here these days - everything from Amaranth to Crimson to deep, dark Burgundy (and yes, I do think they deserve to be capitalized).

 

  

Lilah isn't quite as excited about the foliage as I am, but the firetruck sure turned her crank.

And one more, just for fun:

This is what happens when she chooses her own outfit. She's into the layered skirt look.