Are you on the fence about having kids? Not sure if you want your lifestyle and routines upset by some pint-sized maniac? Well, sit back and allow me to fill you in on why you should add at least one child to your life.
Top Ten Reasons To Have Kids
(Apart from the Obvious, of course)
10. You can wave frantically at the fire fighters driving by in a fire truck without looking like a total lunatic. Bonus: if they're not rushing to a burning building, the hot one might just wave back!
9. No one blames you for napping during the day. In fact, it's totally encouraged. Everyone's all, "sleep when the baby sleeps." They don't need to know if you're still napping when your baby is 19.
8. If you accidentally let one rip, you can easily pin it on your kid(s). This works especially well if they are still in diapers.
7. If you act insane, just blame it on that deadliest of cocktails: hormones + sleep deprivation + mommy brain.
6. You are more than justified in eating table scraps. Kids waste a lot of food, and in the interest of being green, it is your duty to keep their uneaten food out of the already overflowing landfill.
5. You will rid yourself of all squeamishness and any tendency towards becoming embarassed in public. Your dignity will follow suit.
4. You can eat dinner while the early bird specials are still on. Your dining companions may be a little long in the tooth and blue in the hair, and they will probably give you dirty looks for "allowing" your kid(s) to climb all over the restaurant, but at least you'll save money on the specials.
3. New clothes. Let's face it, that last 10 lbs of baby weight may never come off. And even if it does, your hips/boobs/tummy will never be quite the same. But don't worry, that means you get to buy a whole new wardrobe!
2. No more pesky indecisiveness! You will no longer have time to hem and haw in the fruit aisle of the grocery store while searching for the perfect mango. And you'd be surprised at how quickly you can pick out that brand new wardrobe when you only have a 30 minute window in which to shop.
1. Ummm... blog fodder, duh!