Are you on the fence about having kids? Not sure if you want your lifestyle and routines upset by some pint-sized maniac? Well, sit back and allow me to fill you in on why you should add at least one child to your life.
Top Ten Reasons To Have Kids
(Apart from the Obvious, of course)
10. You can wave frantically at the fire fighters driving by in a fire truck without looking like a total lunatic. Bonus: if they're not rushing to a burning building, the hot one might just wave back!
9. No one blames you for napping during the day. In fact, it's totally encouraged. Everyone's all, "sleep when the baby sleeps." They don't need to know if you're still napping when your baby is 19.
8. If you accidentally let one rip, you can easily pin it on your kid(s). This works especially well if they are still in diapers.
7. If you act insane, just blame it on that deadliest of cocktails: hormones + sleep deprivation + mommy brain.
6. You are more than justified in eating table scraps. Kids waste a lot of food, and in the interest of being green, it is your duty to keep their uneaten food out of the already overflowing landfill.
5. You will rid yourself of all squeamishness and any tendency towards becoming embarassed in public. Your dignity will follow suit.
4. You can eat dinner while the early bird specials are still on. Your dining companions may be a little long in the tooth and blue in the hair, and they will probably give you dirty looks for "allowing" your kid(s) to climb all over the restaurant, but at least you'll save money on the specials.
3. New clothes. Let's face it, that last 10 lbs of baby weight may never come off. And even if it does, your hips/boobs/tummy will never be quite the same. But don't worry, that means you get to buy a whole new wardrobe!
2. No more pesky indecisiveness! You will no longer have time to hem and haw in the fruit aisle of the grocery store while searching for the perfect mango. And you'd be surprised at how quickly you can pick out that brand new wardrobe when you only have a 30 minute window in which to shop.
1. Ummm... blog fodder, duh!
Another winner! I love being able to go home early or duck out of any conversation.
ReplyDeleteHilarious reasons for having at least one baby! Loved them. The blaming your kids for farting one made me laugh out loud!
ReplyDeleteThis is so great! I love #8. I fart all the time.
ReplyDeleteReally cute post and all so true. ;)
ReplyDeleteHysterical! I love #9, any excuse to take a nap!
ReplyDeleteHee! Love this!
ReplyDeleteAnd seriously amen to the naps!
Add in playing in the rain without people thinking you've lost your mind. Oh and being allowed to love Disney movies without being told to act your age. It's for the kids. SERIOUS!
ReplyDelete@harriet glynnOh yeah, forgot that one, and I use it ALL the time!
ReplyDelete@Bees With HoneyC'mon, don't tell me you've never thought of it! ;)
ReplyDelete@Old School/New School MomThanks for sharing, Sarah. :)
ReplyDelete@BarbaraMe too! And in that note, the baby is napping, so....Zzzzzz....
ReplyDeleteYES, all around. The picture is just too precious for words!!
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious! I LOVE IT!! And that picture...that picture is stunning!
ReplyDeleteHilariously true! Love this. And that last one - priceless! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm going to try #10 asap - will let you know how I do!
ReplyDelete@Galit BreenNothing better than a little daytime shut-eye, is there?!
ReplyDelete@Issas Crazy WorldYou're so right! Adding them to the list...now.
ReplyDelete@DexieThanks. My sis gets credit for that one!
ReplyDelete@Hopes@Staying Afloat!Thanks! Lilah was actually attempting to open- mouth kiss me (or possibly ingest my face) but my sis caught one at just the right moment.
ReplyDelete@KiddothingsIt really is the best reason to keep them around, isn't it?
ReplyDelete@SusanGreat, report back a.s.a.p.!
ReplyDeleteHey, yay! That's one of the pictures I took. So cute (and at lest it's not the one where she looks like she is making out with you!).
ReplyDeleteFantastic post, seester.
@CarolynYep, I've been saving this pic for a special occasion, and it felt like the right time to unveil it. The one where it looks like she's trying to make out with me will most likely stay locked deep in the family vault forever. It's a bit creepy, in a funny sort of way. Thanks for taking them, though - you caught a great mother-daughter moment!
ReplyDeleteSuch an incredibly cute and funny post! And the picture at the end IS adorable.
ReplyDeleteHilarious - even from my childless perspective - plus the photograph is priceless! :-) Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteI found you via The Lady Bloggers Society.
Love Love Love your list!
ReplyDeleteThe one about the firefighters is hilarious and um. So true! Love this post :)
ReplyDelete@Hot CocoHey! I'm glad it was worthy of a giggle. Thanks for visiting!
ReplyDelete@MonkeeMamaThanks Naomi!
ReplyDelete@marla {family fresh cooking}Aha! I knew I couldn't be the only mama who has used her kid as an excuse to wave at the hot firemen!
ReplyDelete9. You're not kidding! The days where I'm separated from Li'l D, I not only miss him, I miss the nap time that comes with him. :)
ReplyDelete5. Were this not so, I would not have posted Kick You in the Junk. (You have told a true story!)
Bottom picture. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE. Also, exactly so!
Great post...i love #10.. hilarious..so true!! do u know how many times ive stopped a cute policeman and said "my son loves police"...(tho i should be leary since my x is a cop.!lol...
ReplyDeletelove the naps..
great picture - i guess H gets credit for that one.
Oh I love this list xo
ReplyDelete