A Full Tank

We spent May long weekend with the Hubs' side of the family, as is our annual tradition.  This year's destination was a cabin on Galiano Island.  While sleep deprivation did its best to drain my tank (the baby developed a fever right on cue), the little moments added and multiplied until I returned from our weekend away overflowing with love and contentment.  Fuel for my love tank:

Breathtaking views,

Hammock snuggles,

Shared secrets,

Time with cousins,

Bellies full of food,

And, of course, more than a few photo ops.

 

May your love tank always be this full!  Happy Wednesday.

 



Toddler for a Day

Sometimes I wish I could walk around in Lilah's shoes, just for a day.  Wouldn't it be fun to experience life the way our kids do?  If I could be "Toddler For a Day", I would:

• Throw toys around, draw on the walls, and make the house look like a bomb went off in it.  And then I'd let someone else clean it up, just to show how much power I have.  Mwahahaaaa!
• Eat with gusto and complete abandon, with no concern for appearances or propriety. (Well, okay, if you asked the Hubs, he'd probably say I do this already, but in this case I'd really give 'er.)

• Embrace the random.  I would demonstrate totally erratic behaviour and be completely unapologetic about it.  How liberating that would be!
• Catch some much-needed Zs.

• Lose my inhibitions.  I would sing like nobody's listening, dance like nobody's watching, and clap my hands and giggle loudly at anything I found amusing.
• Play hard and play hard.  None of this "work" nonsense!

• Exert my independence at every turn.
• Experiment with fashion and re-invent myself from day to day.

• Repeat the same phrase over and over again for as long as it takes to produce the desired reaction.
• Play "chase" at every possible opportunity. Time for a diaper change?  Chase!  Time to get my shoes on and get out the door?  You'll have to catch me first!
• Take advantage of the cute whenever possible.  If that involves manipulating others, then so be it!

What would be your first act as Toddler for a Day?

The First Thing

Lilah is an open book.  As a toddler, her motivations and thoughts can be read on her face, through her body language, and through her short, telegraph-style sentences.  She isn't yet really capable of lying, so when I ask her if she's going to throw her spoon again if I give it back to her, I'm never surprised when the answer turns out to be "yes."  And never is she more transparent than when she first wakes up in the morning.  The first thing she says when I go get her from her crib is very revealing as to what's on her mind at any given time.

Here are some of the things she has said to me right after waking up:

When we were in Harrison sharing a rental house with a bazillion family members and their dogs: "Doggie no get Lilah?" (I'm just going on instinct here, but I think she may be just a teeny bit afraid of dogs, what do you think?)

The next morning during the same weekend in Harrison, articulated with perfect grammar and diction:  "People are sleeping."  (Actually, Lilah, you're the last to wake up.  The other kids woke the whole house up at an ungodly hour.  Thanks for showing off your super sleeping skills.  But on the other hand, now no one's going to believe me when I tell them you're usually an early riser - there goes mommy's sympathy vote!)

Occasionally we get an "Aaaadddddie" (her BFF's name) or Addie's parents' names thrown into the mix. (As if she'd rather be waking up in their home than ours...)

Lately it's often, "Jump, jump, JUMP!" (Because that is the skill she is working hard on mastering these days.)

And then of course there's the simple yet eloquently stated "Whoooaaa."  (Like, Dude, that was a trippy dream!")

But of course, the most common first thing Lilah says in he morning is "Mamaaaaa!" or sometimes, "Maaaamaaa, ah are you?"  Because, let's face it, to her, I'm pretty much the best thing going 'round these parts.  Can you really blame her?

Pusher

Lilah has been sick a lot this year.  Apparently a child's first year of daycare can do that.  There have been countless colds, several bouts of barfiness, and about eleventy million fevers. And that means a whole arsenal of pediatric drugs.  It's not that I love the idea of giving my child over-the-counter medicines, and I do try to avoid it where possible, but the fevers tend to make it a necessity.

And I have become an expert at getting her to take this medicine.  Even in her sleep.  Especially in her sleep.  I tiptoe silently across her room, grope blindly for her mouth, pry her lips apart, slip the syringe in, and push the plunger, delivering 8 hours' worth of sweet Advil peace to her feverish little body.  She has thus far retained the ability to suck in her sleep that infants are so famous for.  I wonder how much longer I have before she starts jolting awake during my attempts to drug her...?

Poor thing doesn't even know what hit her!

Letter to Myself

Whenever I see a new mother with a tiny baby in her arms, I see a reflection of myself 20 months ago - clueless, fretful, and restless.  Sure, I see the occasional new mother who appears to have it all together, or at least doesn't look to be in immediate danger of dropping off the deep end.  But more often than not, I catch a glimpse of that crazed look in a new mother's eye - and I know that look.  Like a caged, sleep-deprived wild animal.  (Can wild animals be sleep-deprived?  Whatever, just go with it.)



That's the look



When I see that look, I want to reach across the space between us and give the new mama a bear hug and advice on all the things I wish I'd known when Lilah was a newborn.  Except I know that, had someone done that to me back then, I probably would have pushed them away.  I only wanted advice when I was ready to ask for it.  Unsolicited advice was just more crap to add to the pile; more that I should be doing or thinking about that I just didn't have the time or energy for.  It either made me feel guilty or it made me roll my eyes at the thought that the bearer of such advice could possibly understand my child and/or my parenting philosophy (yeah, right, as if I even knew what my parenting philosophy was).

If I could write a letter to myself as a brand new mom, here are just a few of the many things I would say:

• Babies fuss and cry, that's kind of their schtick.  Your baby will not suffer adverse effects if left to cry for two minutes while you finish wiping your butt or wolfing down that sandwich.  Mama's basic needs are important too!  Similarly, your baby will not implode if she is not fed the very second she starts to show signs of hunger.
• Mama's sanity is paramount.  If you have been sitting around shirtless attempting to satiate an insatiable baby by breastfeeding for hours on end, it is more than acceptable to take a break and leave the house with said insatiable baby (after putting a shirt on, of course).  Baby will probably appreciate the break too, and may even fall asleep in the stroller or baby carrier, miracle of miracles!
• Sometimes baby will cry right before falling asleep, even when you are rocking/bouncing/patting/shushing.  Putting up with a few minutes of crying may well be worth it for the half-hour of blissful silence that follows.




Phew, she's sleeping!


• The second six months make up for the first six months - in spades.  (But try not to spend the first six months wishing the time away - you'll regret it.)
• You will survive the hard moments and eventually the highs will overtake the lows.  And you will someday even look back with a certain amount of nostalgia on those sleepless nights spent rocking a crying baby for hours on end.  Time has a way of blurring images and smoothing out the sharp corners on those memories.
• People genuinely want to help you out, and you should let them.  Soon the offers will start dropping off and people will assume you've adjusted to your new way of life.  And then when you need help, you will have to ask for it overtly which, trust me, is much harder than accepting an offer of food/babysitting/cleaning/whatever that has already been put on the table by an eager friend or relative.
• Everything is a phase: sleeping well, sleeping poorly, sleeping well, not eating, eating for hours on end, pooping frequently, pooping infrequetnly, rapid weight gain, slow weight gain, teething, waking up screaming, waking up chipper and chatting, drooling, biting, being cranky, being happy... the list goes on.  Just when you think you've got things figured out and some kind of pattern established, baby will switch things up on you. (This last one is still very applicable at Lilah's age and will be for quite some time, I imagine.)

I will have to come back and have another look at this list when (if?) the Hubs and I have a second child.  What about you, dear readers?  Anything to add?  I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Sleep (In)Compatibility

The Hubs and I are compatible in many ways, but the temperature at which we sleep is not one of them.  I, who am almost always freezing cold during the day, become inexplicably overheated when I sleep.  I give off an insane amount of heat, which all gets trapped under the blanket and boils me alive at night.  The Hubs is the exact opposite.  He is almost never cold during the day, but often wakes up in the middle of the night shivering under my open-window-light-blanket regime.  My tendency to sleep hot became especially pronounced while I was pregnant with Lilah, and during the early days of nursing.  Now that I'm pretty much back to normal, I only wake up sweltering once or twice a night.

Come April or May, or as soon as I can make a case for it, depending on what kind of spring we are having, we take the duvet out of the cover, and just use the duvet cover as our blanket.  In the fall, the duvet goes back in its cover and we are once again blanketed in a cloud-like layer of down.  (Ah, the beauty of the wedding registry - luxury furnishing on someone else's dime!)  This year, I finally relented to the Hubs' begging in late October, and the duvet is back in its cover for the winter.  I love the weight of it, and I don't sleep well without a blanket on, but most nights I wake up sweating and have to throw off the covers, only to wake up half an hour later shivering.

Short of sleeping in separate beds, which seems a little sad, not to mention the fact that we lack the space for it, I'm not sure what the solution for this situation should be, if any.  Any other hotties like me out there?  Creative solutions to our sleep compatibility conundrum are welcome!

Sleeping Through the Night!!!

My dear friends, today marks a very momentous day in the Lilahbility household.  For the past couple nights, I have slept soundly through the night - no multiple wakings, no potty breaks, no maniacally meowing cats at 4am, just pure, uninterrupted sleep.  Bliss!

Of course this comes a full six months after the Lilahbility hit this milestone herself.  What can I say, I'm a late bloomer!

So I've done it two nights in a row - is it safe to say that I am now sleeping through the night?

Jinx

Well, it seems I have jinxed myself by bragging about my little angel's sleeping habits. Hold your maniacal laughter. Lilah's still sleeping just fine. So well, in fact, that last night she managed to sleep for 11 hours with a foreign object lodged in her sleeper. And not just any foreign object. She couldn't have been playing with something soft on the change table before bed last night, like a wash cloth or a teeny tiny pillow. No, it had to be her toothbrush that made its way into her pajamas. I blame the Hubs. He's the one who got her ready for bed last night. But it could just as easily have been me. Gah. With parents like us, who needs enemies?

Back to the jinx. I've been having the hardest time getting to sleep and staying that way. That'll teach me for being smug and bragging about my daughter's sleeping habits. The problem is, now I'm a Napzi and a Zombie all rolled into one. Two for the price of one, and twice as scary. And far more likely to make absent-minded parenting blunders like putting my child to bed with a toothbrush digging into her back. Sigh. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, two things have been proven by this inadvertent experiment:
1) The old saying "sleeping like a baby" may not actually be that far off. I have a problem with the metal springs in our sagging mattress digging into me, so I can only imagine what a toothbrush would feel like!
2) Lilah deserves better parents.

Confessions of a Napzi

I've been dubbed a "Napzi" by fellow mom and blogger Harriet, thanks to my strict rules and scheduling around Lilah's nap times. Was I shocked and appalled at this moniker? Hardly. I embrace the title, and in fact, I'm the tiniest bit smug about it. It took what felt like months of consistency and hard work to convince Lilah to nap for longer than one sleep cycle (which, for her, tends to be about forty minutes), but once she started consolidating her naps and taking them at fairly consistent times of day around the age of six months, I became a much happier mommy. And no way am I going to risk screwing that up now!

Occasionally, out of necessity, we do switch things up and allow her to have one of her naps in the car or on the go, but for the most part, Lilah takes her naps in her crib at approximately the same time each day (give or take 45 minutes or so). This is where some of my innate personality flaws really pay off! My total lack of flexibility? Wasn't such a great thing when the Hubs and I were doing the obligatory summer backpacking around Europe in our early twenties. But it sure has worked for Lilah's sleep habits! What can I say? I am a slave to my left brain. I like rules. And routine. And knowing exactly when I'm going to be able to get a break, take some time for myself, or indulge in a nap of my own.

When we went on vacation in January, the Hubs and I received plenty of compliments on how well Lilah was coping with the plane ride, time change, new surroundings, etc. We graciously accepted these compliments in public and then gloated over them in private. After all, it was our commitment to the naps and routine that got us all through that vacation feeling well-rested and relaxed; feeling like we'd actually had a vacation. Sure, we didn't venture too far afield or do the types of touristy things we used to do when it was just the two of us, but that weren't expecting to be able to do those things while vacationing with a six-month-old baby anyway.

In Lilah's case, letting the daytime naps slide also affects her night sleeps. And yes, we've worked on those, too. So, in fact, I'm not just a Napzi but a... Sleepzi... Sleezi? That sounds dirty. But that's another post for another day. Suffice it to say that a little training has made an all-around great sleeper out of our li'l Lilahbility, and happier, more well-rested parents out of me and the Hubs. (And before you call the parenting police, no, we did not leave our baby in her room to cry it out for hours on end.) I'm not going to get all Judgy McJudgerson about how other people deal with their baby's sleep. I'm just sayin'... this is what worked for us. And I have no regrets.

I have spent countless hours discussing baby sleep with other parents, and it seems as though you are either a Napzi or a Zombie. And if you think you're neither, you're either totally delusional, or you won the baby lottery. We all know which side I'm on. Time to head on over to Juju Be Baby and hear a Zombie's side of the story.