Yet another Monday is looming, and you know what that means: time to write a Listicle! Rachel picked this week's topic, and it's a gooder, but February completely kicked my butt and now I feel like being a total rebel. So I'm going way out on a limb and giving you a list that has been rattling around in my brain for a few weeks now.
I am a word nerd, through and through. I don't have a problem admitting that. And it must go with the territory of being a speech therapist, if my colleagues are any indication. But how do you know if you are similarly afflicted? Read on. (It takes one to know one.)
10 Signs You Might Be a Word Nerd
1. Your iPhone battery dies a lot more quickly now that you have ten Words With Friends games on the go at any given time.
2. You write love letters to your sweetie in IPA. That's International Phonetic Alphabet those of you who don't consider yourselves word nerds. (Yes, I did this, and yes, he figured it out - which is why he is now the Hubs/Babydaddy/Captain Awesome.)
3. You feel a slight wave of nausea come over you when people say things like "supposably," "disorientated," and "irregardless."
4. You own every word game known to man. Scrabble and Boggle are just the teeniest tip of the iceberg.
5. You root for Bachelor contestants based on their pronunciation and grammar, and cringed every time Bachelorette Ashley talked about "moving fo-ward." Every. Single. Time. Which was a lot, because that seemed to be her catch phrase for the entire season.
6. You post long, ranting Facebook status updates about the apostrophe epidemic and the rampant misuse of pronouns. (Subject vs. object, people, subject vs. object!)
7. You record and transcribe some your child's most adorable speech sound errors. You know, just for posterity.
8. You orchestrate situations and make up excuses to use a new word you have recently learned.
9. You think it's cute to go around telling people you are a "Cunning Linguist."
10. If you realize you have used the wrong word or made a typo in a blog post, you will stop at nothing to fix it, including waking from a deep sleep and jumping out of bed at 2 a.m. just to hit the edit button.
Easy Listicles topic this week! Wendy asked that we share 10 things we'd rather be doing than cleaning. And the answer is... pretty much anything. But fear not, dear friends, I struggled and persevered until I was able to pare the list down to ten. (You can thank me in the comments.)
10 things I find at least slightly more appealing than cleaning the house:
1. Visiting the dentist.
2. Trying on bathings suits.
3. Working out.
4. Brushing a squirming toddler's teeth.
5. Deleting email/Facebook/Twitter spam.
6. Parallel parking.
7. Watching an episode of Dora the Explorer.
8. Listening to a time share sales pitch.
9. Sitting through a dull movie.
10. Taking a shower in a bathroom that needs to be cleaned.
I know the Listmaster has asked us to make a list about love, what with Valentine's Day quickly approaching, but I have a pressing issue and I need your help. Something has come over me. I've been having these odd symptoms and I just don't know what to make of them. Sure, I could always page Dr. Google, but I trust you, dear readers, far more than the crazies one finds lurking about Internet. I mean.. ahem...
Anyway, so my symptoms:
1. Extreme laziness. Pretty much everything in my life has taken a hit because of it: cleaning, cooking, blogging, reading and commenting on others' blogs, photography, parenting, tweeting, reading, carpooling, and being a decent wife and friend. Everything except sleeping, resting, and curling up in the fetal position.
2. Clumsiness and absent-mindedness. Grey matter, where have you gone?
3. Mood swings. When the Hubs signed on "for better or for worse," he probably didn't envision this.
5. A distinct preference for stretchy pants with elastic waistbands.
6. Food aversions that change from day to day. Except onions, the one food I am whole-heartedly and steadfastly committed to avoiding at all costs.
7. Heightened sense of smell. (Which was already pretty acute. So basically I am now a bloodhound.)
8. Gagging. Gagging when I lift the kitchen garbage lid to throw something away. Gagging when I bend over to tie my shoes. Gagging when I brush my teeth. Gagging when I when I smell food I recently ate. Or didn't. Gagging when I think about gagging.
9. Nausea. Ad nauseum. (See number 8 above.)
10. The undeniable urge to pee on sticks.
So, friends, what do you think it could be? Help a girl out, here!
If you give a mom an iPhone, she's going to download a whole bunch of apps.
When she gets the apps, she's going to discover the joy of Hipstamatic.
Once she has exhausted the possibilities of Hipstamatic, she will move on to Camera+ and then finally to Instagram, where she will document the mundane details of her daily life and immediately share them with the anyone who happens to be on the internet.
Instagram will remind her that she hasn't tweeted or updated her Facebook status in a while, so she will share some more mundane details of her life there. When she runs out of mundane details, she will start tweeting about twitter itself.
Then a tweet about a recipe will catch her eye and she'll be curious enough to click on the link. After clicking on the link, she'll begin to convince herself that she has both the patience and the culinary skills to pull it off.
Once she has located the ingredients and set her toddler up with an episode of Dora, she will start cooking but will get it all ass-backwards and her husband will come home to find her extremely agitated, thrashing about the kitchen and cursing at her iPhone. Her generous husband will then send her out of the kitchen so he can rescue the meal and clean up her mess.
While he is cooking and cleaning, she'll realize it's her turn in Words With Friends. Just as she is about to enter the highest scoring word of all time, her toddler will wander over and want to play with her iPhone.
When her toddler gets bored after only thirty seconds of phone time, she'll realize she needs to download some new apps. While she's looking for toddler apps, she'll get distracted and also want to download some word game apps. When she downloads word game apps, she'll realize her iPhone battery dies much too quickly and what she really needs?
Time for a listicle to get this week started off right! This week, Jackie asked that we write about our passions. I think I've probably already talked about mine ad nauseum here: motherhood, martial arts, photography, blogging, and making a difference in the lives of the children and families I work with (not necessarily in that exact order, depending on the day). If you've been following along for a while, you know all about my passions. But I don't want to disregard Jackie's topic choice, especially since this was meant as a tribute to her dear friend Marilyn who recently passed away, so my listicle will just be a slightly different kind of tribute.
I find that sometimes in the wake of tragedy, it is therapeutic to take stock of our own lives and count our many blessings; all the reasons we have to be happy and grateful and passionate about life. When I do that, tears spring immediately to my eyes and a lump develops in my throat because I am truly one of the luckiest people I know.
I am also borrowing a page from the Listmaster's book... er, blog, in which she shares bits and pieces of her good life. Which gets me thinking to how amazing my own life is. Now, I am not the type to win random draws and lotteries, mind you, but that doesn't mean I wasn't born with horseshoes up my butt. Here are just ten examples to show you what I mean:
2. I make a very decent living doing something I find fascinating and am passionate about. As an added plus, it is a female-dominated field that is understanding and respectful of family and motherhood.
3. I met Captain Awesome when I was just 20 years old, and it only took us a few weeks to figure out that this was it for both of us. Done deal.
4. I have never really had to worry about money. Growing up, I split my time between two houses with two very different budgets, but there was never concern about putting food on the table, and no education or athletic opportunity was ever denied me as a result of limited funds. I have never been hungry without knowing there was food coming soon, and I have never had to worry about where to rest my head at night. As an adult, I have all of my needs and most of my wants met on a regular basis.
5. I have an incredible support system - both my family by birth/marriage and my chosen family includes many people that I can count on, lean on, and who believe in me.
6. I laugh every day.
7. I have an enormous appetite and can eat more than a lot of men I know.
8. Though I have trained in various martial arts since I was 18, I have never once had to put my skills to the test in a real-life situation.
9. My daughter has six (!) healthy, active grandparents (four biological, two bonus). The potential for spoiled-rottenness is exponential.