How Things Have Changed

Confessions of a Massively Pregnant Crazy Woman

This is a Monday Listicle on a Tuesday, so clearly I am late.  That seems to be a general theme in my life these days, seeing as today is baby #2's due date, and there is very little indication that he is planning to show up for his own party anytime soon.  Like his older sister was three years ago, he is content to hang out a little longer on the inside.  I'm going to chalk it all up to the fact that I give good womb.  There are worse things in life, I do realize.

Remember a couple weeks ago, when I was all Zen about waiting for baby to arrive?  Well, I'm doing my best to stay in that headspace, and I'm certainly not as manic as I was around this time with Lilah, but hormones, heat, and chasing after a three-year-old are doing things to my brain.  I think I might be turning into that crazy pregnant lady again.  Here are my confessions:

1.  Yesterday I called the Hubs to pick us up in his car because I could not walk three more blocks with Lilah.  In my defense, we had gotten on the wrong bus on the way back from Science World, got stuck on said bus for an extra 15 minutes due to construction, the bus was crowded and cooking in the heat and humidity, Lilah was complaining that she was thirsty and had to poop, and I'd already walked several long blocks after getting off the bus. Aaannnd the last three blocks would have been uphill.  (Okay, a slight incline, but still...)

2.  The other day, I sneeze-peed. That was a new experience for me, and not one with which I am altogether comfortable.

3.  I haven't been sleeping well at night, and last night the Toopy & Binoo theme song taunted me by playing itself over and over again in my head all. night. long.

4.  As much as I want to enjoy Lilah's last moments as an only child and make them special for her, I'm falling down on the job a bit.  Fatigue, heat, and hormones are making it challenging to always be as patient as I would like to be.

5.  Right now, I easily weigh as much, if not more than, my 6'2'' husband. 

6.  The skin over my abdomen is stretched so tight that if this baby doesn't come out the traditional way soon, I am convinced my skin may just tear open.

7.  As uncomfortable as it is, I'd be  more than willing to let my doc get all up in my lady biznaz at my next appointment if it brings me any closer to meeting this little guy.

8.  My feet are dirty, sweaty, and stinky all the time.  The only shoes I can fit my swollen feet into right now are cheap rubber flip-flops, which make them sweat like crazy and pick up all kinds of dirt.  I have to bathe my feet every night before getting into bed.

9.  I no longer fit into any of my maternity pants, so I'm alternating between three or four summer dresses.  It's getting a little old.

10.  People keep accusing me of having had conversations with them of which I have zero recollection.  Either it's one giant conspiracy, or I really am losing my mind!

Looking Forward

1. Share one good thing you're looking forward to.

 



  

Well, obviously:

I am beyond excited to meet this little man. 

But. My doctor (who I see weekly, at this stage) keeps asking me how ready I am to have this baby, like she's expecting me to be tearing my hair out by now. 

My strategy this time around is to just go with the flow.  I made the mistake of trying to steer the river when I was pregnant with Lilah, or at the very least, of fretting and fussing about where the river was taking me. 

Granted, I was more than a week overdue in the middle of a rare Vancouver heatwave and puffed up like a blowfish, but all of my futile flailing meant that I did not enjoy my last couple of weeks of solitude the way I now wish I had.

Now I see this time before baby comes as a precious gift.  He will get here, and our joy will be the same whether he comes tomorrow or three weeks from now.  But these are our last days as a family of three; Lilah's last days as an only child; my last paid vacation days. And I want to savour them. 

I want to spend time with my girl. I want to sit in the rocker in the baby's room and daydream about what it will be like to hold him.  I want to carefully pack and repack my hospital bag until it contains just the right combination of things to surround myself with during labour and things for after his arrival. 

Just as Lilah did, this baby will come when he is good and ready.  So for now, I will sit back, let nature take its course, and let the river take me where it will.

Don’t try to steer the river.

~~Deepak Chopra

Things I Will Miss and Things I Won't

This week we are drawing our inspiration from the great Nora Ephron and writing a list of things we will miss and things we won't.  Of course what comes to mind is not things about life in general - I'm not ready to go there yet - but rather about growing a new life inside my own body. 

Yep, that's right.  Another pregnancy post. 

I plan on making this my last.  (Pregnancy, that is.  I can't promise anything on the post front.  Gotta milk it while it lasts!)  So there are certainly things I will miss.

But I'll start with things I won't miss and get the griping out of the way first:

Unless you are one of those lucky Natalie Portman types, everything gets fat.  And by everything, I mean everything.  Including the parts of you you never expected to get fat. (Ahem, lady bits.)

That shortness of breath; something I have never experienced at any other time in my life.

The fear of miscarriage.

Morning sickness, obviously.

Thought you were done with pads and panty liners since Aunt Flo won't be showing her face for a while? Think again, suckah! You're going to need to keep a stash of panty liners with you at all times.  Your oven may have a bun in it, but that won't stop it from automatically switching into...ummm... "self-cleaning" mode.

Getting up off the couch is a huge production involving a whole lot of grunting and upper body rocking to build up enough momentum.  Gravity and inertia are conspiring against me, making it easier just to stay on the couch.

Which leads me to the subject of weight gain, again. Blerg.  My doctor isn't loving the numbers either.

Early morning wakings caused by paralyzing leg cramps.

Round ligament pain.

Double whammy: simultaneous occurence of the above two items caused by attempting to roll over in bed. 

Ninja kicks to the diaphragm, bladder, intestines, and various other vital organs.

The fact that everyone and their dog feels entitled to comment on your changing body.  When else in life is that considered socially acceptable?  Most people are generous, and a few are overly honest, but it still catches me off guard every time.

The difficulty of choosing names.  The Hubs and I have very different ideas about names for babies.  So far, we haven't found anything we really agree on.

The hormonal roller coaster.

Swollen feet and ankles.

Things I will miss:

That beautiful little plus sign on a pregnancy test.

The unbelievable feeling of having created life. 

The second trimester - that honeymoon period of pregnancy, when you have a cute bump and maternity clothes fit well, but you're not yet feeling swollen and whalish.  I already miss it dearly.

Daydreaming and speculating about who this little person will be.

Lilah hugging and kissing my bump, sharing her stickers with the baby by sticking them all over my belly, and attempting to feed him through my belly button.

The reassuring feeling of baby squirming and constant motion from within. (Ninja kicks aside.)

The look on the Hubs' face when he found out he was going to have a son.

Having boobs.

Feeling fat last nine months but the joy of becoming a mom lasts forever. -Nikki Dalton

Sibling Bonding

So far, they're getting along beautifully...

"A brother is a friend given by Nature." ~Jean Baptiste Legouve

Pregnant Celebrities: Are They Just Like Us?

This week, the Listmaster was inspired by Us Weekly and asked us to come up with a list of how celebrities are just like us. Or not.

One would think pregnancy would be the great equalizer, right?  Wellll, yes and no.  Some celebrities do seem to be fairly normal when it comes to pregnancy.  They admit to craving naughty foods, gain weight everywhere instead of just looking like they swallowed a basketball, and some of them probably even get stretch marks.

Just like us:

Jennifer Garner

Image source

Apart from being married to Ben Affleck and being famous and having buttloads of money, Jennifer Garner seems like she could be the girl next door.  Like we could totally rent a chick flick together and pig out on popcorn, candy, and chocolate and justify it by saying we're eating for two.  And then we would compare pregnancy symptoms and braid each other's hair...

(Okay, it's possible I have a slight girl crush on Jennifer Garner.)

Jessica Simpson

Image source

Yep, she's gained a lot of weight during her pregnancy.  That's what most of us do.  Seems normal to me.  I wish people would stop calling her fat and back off a little.  Having grown up in the spotlight, it's probably the first time she's not had to watch her weight.  Let's just let her have that, okay?  (Those heels, however, fall into the "not normal" category.  Pregnancy is known to throw you off balance, and those just look plain treacherous!)

Alyson Hannigan

Image source

She just seems really down to earth.  Plus, she wears flats.

Reese Witherspoon

Image source

Another girl-next-door type. But blonder.  And this is the type of maternity outfit I can totally get behind.

Not at all like us (or perhaps I should just speak for myself?):

Victoria's Secret models

Image source

They look cute at every stage of pregnancy, stay skinny everywhere but their bellies, and are back on the runway and doing photo shoots mere weeks after giving birth.  Nope, not like me at all.  But then, I am currently polishing off the last of the Ben & Jerry's and am planning to chase that down with some Girl Guide cookies, so... mystery solved, I guess?

Snooki

Image source

I don't really need to explain this one, do I?

Natalie Portman

Image source

No one is supposed to look this good in a white dress while pregnant.  Her butt didn't even get fat!  (Butt not withstanding, I do love Natalie Portman.  This is purely jealousy speaking.)

Beyonce

Image source

I have nothing against Beyonce, but she was impossibly glamorous and glow-y throughout her entire pregnancy.  It just makes it hard for the rest of us regular preggos to keep up, you know what I mean?

Octomom

Image source

C'mon, you had to know that one was coming!

Now, in all fairness, I should be posting a recent preggy pic of myself for comparison, but sadly, I have very few from this pregnancy, and literally none since I truly popped.  It's on the to do list, I promise.  For now, you'll have to make due with my (somewhat distorted) shadow:

Happy Monday!

Even Steven

If you've been following along, you may know that we're expecting a sibling for the Lilahbility in August.  We'd asked her many times, and she always seemed to flip-flop between wanting a brother or a sister.
Well, on Friday we got our answer.  And I think the look on this guy's face pretty much says it all:

More testosterone?  Yes, please!

We obviously would have been happy with either, but it's kind of nice to get one of each for a complete collection, you know?  There's something about the symmetry of it - I am a sucker for even numbers and symmetry.  Must be the Virgo in me.

I think someone else is pretty pleased about it too:

She's a Cancer, but she has nothing against a little symmetry.

And of course, I must admit that the shopaholic shopping enthusiast in me is just a teeny bit thrilled at the world of possibilities this opens up!

Best of all? Is that one little word at the bottom of the sonogram:

Baby brother-to-be.

Outside Looking In

Ten "Lovely" Symptoms

I know the Listmaster has asked us to make a list about love, what with Valentine's Day quickly approaching, but I have a pressing issue and I need your help.  Something has come over me.  I've been having these odd symptoms and I just don't know what to make of them.  Sure, I could always page Dr. Google, but I trust you, dear readers, far more than the crazies one finds lurking about Internet.  I mean.. ahem...

Anyway, so my symptoms:

1.  Extreme laziness.  Pretty much everything in my life has taken a hit because of it: cleaning, cooking, blogging, reading and commenting on others' blogs, photography, parenting, tweeting, reading, carpooling, and being a decent wife and friend.  Everything except sleeping, resting, and curling up in the fetal position.

2.  Clumsiness and absent-mindedness.  Grey matter, where have you gone?

3.  Mood swings.  When the Hubs signed on "for better or for worse," he probably didn't envision this.

4.  Acne.  Huge, protruding chin zits that tend to show up most viciously right before an important event like The Mother of all Tweetups and the my cruise with Captain Canada.

5.  A distinct preference for stretchy pants with elastic waistbands.

6.  Food aversions that change from day to day.  Except onions, the one food I am whole-heartedly and steadfastly committed to avoiding at all costs.

7.  Heightened sense of smell.  (Which was already pretty acute.  So basically I am now a bloodhound.)

8.  Gagging.  Gagging when I lift the kitchen garbage lid to throw something away. Gagging when I bend over to tie my shoes.  Gagging when I brush my teeth.  Gagging when I when I smell food I recently ate.  Or didn't.  Gagging when I think about gagging.

9.  Nausea.  Ad nauseum.  (See number 8 above.)

10.  The undeniable urge to pee on sticks.

So, friends, what do you think it could be?  Help a girl out, here!