Letter to Lilah - The High School Years

Dear Lilah,

Right now, you are only two.  But that hasn't stopped me from thinking about what you will be like as a teenager.  I admit that there is part of me that shakes with fear at the thought of raising a teenage girl.  I don't expect it to be easy.  On either of us.

And high school.  Ah, high school, a huge part of what makes those teenage years so challenging.  Don't worry, you'll get through it.  It might not be a breeze, but you'll come out the other side a stronger person for it.  Here are some things to remember to make it a little easier:

1.  Everyone goes through an awkward phase.  You know, that phase where your nose is too big for your face and you haven't quite figured out how to dress yourself and style your hair?  Yeah, that one.  Usually you don't know you are in your awkward phase at the time, but you'll figure it out in retrospect. 

(I don't have many examples of my awkward phase to share, because, way back in the age of the dinosaur, when I was in high school, photos were taken on this stuff called film.  The only photos I bothered scanning from those days were the ones I was considering using in my wedding slide show, and the extremely awkward ones didn't exactly make the cut.  Nevertheless, here is me at the beginning of my awkward phase.  Notice the nose-too-big-for-face phenomenon and slouchy shoulders.  This was before the acne hit, though.)

2.  If you stop sucking your thumb right this instant, you may be able to avoid having braces on your teeth.  Your mama didn't need them, and trust me, that was a major blessing!  But if you end up needing them, you will totally rock them.  Promise.

3.  While I won't force you to be sporty, I will certainly do everything I can to encourage you to be involved in some form of organized athletics or team sport.  I firmly believe is one of the best things for a girl's self-esteem, sense of self-worth, and body image.  I was always involved in some sport or other, and that built the foundation for the strong mind-body connection I maintain to this day.

4.  Pay attention in your classes.  You may think you will never need to know that algebraic equation after the exam is over, but you'd be surprised at what will come back to haunt you once you settle on a career path!

5.  Sometimes the middle of the road is good.  I was nowhere near the coolest of kids, but I also wasn't the most unpopular.  I was somewhere near the middle of the pack, and that was probably the very best place for me.  I didn't get teased relentlessly, but I also didn't get involved in much of the drama.

6.  In high school, as in life, when it comes to friends, quantity is far less important than quality.  This chick right here?  She was one of the best.

This was high school graduation.  The white dresses were a tradition. (I hope you don't mind me posting this oldie, S! Oh, and I just realized how similar our hairstyles were.  I probably copied you.)

7.  It's a lot easier not to care how popular or cool you are in high school if you have friends outside of that scene.  I was lucky to have some outside avenues for forming lasting, meaningful friendships - namely, my ski team and summer camp, where I spent my summers from age 10 to age 19.

8.  If you feel like experimenting, go ahead and dye your hair pink, like I did.  Just stay away from things that
make you feel bad about yourself or kill your brain cells.  Understand?

9.  By the time you reach high school, you will have had a minimum of 10 years of martial arts training, so you'll be able to handle yourself if need be.  But, for the love of Pete, keep yourself out of situations where you'll need to use it!

10.  Remember I will be there for you through it all. 

Love,

Mama.