Henry James: A Birth Story

It's been 2 weeks since the labour and delivery that brought us our beautiful, chubby, snuggly chunk of baby on the morning of August 14th. About time that I tell his birth story.

At almost a week overdue, I was starting to lose my sanity.  I was drinking copious quantities of raspberry leaf tea and doing squats and lunges in front of the TV with no results, so I decided to step things up a bit.  Our doula, who is also a registered acupuncturist, had been doing some preparatory acupuncture, and at this point, she agreed it was time to get serious. So at six days overdue, I had induction acupuncture and was told to stay active that day.  I headed to the gym for some elliptical action and barely sat down all day.  I also saw my doc and had a membrane sweep.  I was fairly confident that all of these efforts, combined, would soon bring me my baby boy.

Sure enough, at 2:30 am, I woke up with mild contractions and a sense of anticipation and crossed my fingers that it wasn't all in my head.  By 3:30 I was sure, and woke up the Hubs, who started timing.  By 6:30, Lilah's grandparents had arrived to feed her breakfast and take her to daycare, and our doula walked in the door around the same time.  By 7:30, my contractions were about three minutes apart and were lasting about a minute. It was time to head to the hospital.

The car ride to the hospital seemed to take forever, and I remember hitting a few bumps in the road while I was mid-contraction.  So painful.  We made it to the hospital and checked in around 8.  Apparently, it was a very busy Tuesday morning, and I lucked out and got the very last room.  The woman who delivered her baby half an hour after me had to do it in an assessment room with only a curtain separating her from the rest of the room.  Word to the wise: don't be afraid to moan and groan your way through contractions while checking in at the hospital.  The squeaky wheel gets the grease.  I was ushered directly into that last delivery room based on the noises coming from deep within me.

Luck was definitely on our side this time.  Things just went so... smoothly.  Doors opened for us, elevators were ready and waiting, and things lined up just the way they were supposed to.  Such a different experience from the one I had with Lilah.

This time, I got my natural, unmedicated, uncomplicated labour and delivery and the whole thing took just seven hours from start to finish.  Henry was born at 9:30 am, just an hour and a half after we arrived at the hospital, and the whole affair was just so beautiful and messy and uninhibited.  As a naturally reserved person, I surprised myself, and if I hadn't been in the midst of it; if I had been just a bystander walking down the hallway of the maternity wing around 9 that morning, I would have thought to myself, "Who's the screamer in room 15?"  The only word to describe it is primal.  And for me, that was perfect.  Just like the beautiful baby boy who was deposited into my arms at the end of it all.

Perfection in a tiny package.

That's 9lbs, 7.7 oz, by the way!

Big sister Lilah thinks he's pretty great too:

 

 

 

 

 

3 Moments.

11 Days ago this happened:

 

 

3 years, one month, 22 days ago this happened:

 

 

And exactly 5 years ago this happened:

 

 

 The 3 best moments of my life.

 

 

Guest Post: Motherhood, Take 2

Another one of my fave Vancouver mommy bloggers is stopping by to give me a hand with this whole bringing home another baby thing.  Bruna of Bees With Honey gets it - she's done it more than once and now has three beautiful girls and a happy household to show for it.  Here's her best advice for a second run at motherhood:

Motherhood, Take 2

 

Out-numbered

When you have Baby #1, it’s immediately out-numbered. There are two parents to one child. Although your life is forever changed by having ababy, you’re able to tag team with husband to do the things you need to do like take a nap, clean house a bit or have a shower. There is always one of you free to look out for baby.  When baby #2 comes along, it’s one parent for each child. The tag teaming becomes much more challenging with a little person and a baby demanding your undivided attention. It’s amazing how quickly hubby and you will find a way to creatively balance caring for two while still trying to fulfill your own personal needs and wants at the same time. Be a good team together and you’ll go places!

 

Every baby is different 

The things that worked with your first child may have to be chucked out the window with your second. No two babies are the same and if you luck out and have a really docile baby #2, consider yourself lucky. Baby and parenting books provide many bits ofadvice. What may have worked with baby #1 may not work for baby #2. Don’t let it make you doubt your mothering expertise. You will find a way to please #2 by simple trial and error like you did with baby #1. Having babies who end up being so very different from each other adds spice to mothering. Celebrate your babies’ differences! Don’t let it get you down.

No More Napping when Baby Naps

With one baby, you can still nap when it naps. Once baby #2 shows up, afternoon napping becomes a figment of your imagination only. If ever you manage to get both kids napping at the same time, you’ll feel as if you’ve won a lottery.  The chances it happens are one in a million. 

 

Keeping Up with Household Chores

Once you begin caring for two little ones, keeping up with household chores becomes very challenging to say the least.  Don’t let your inability to do it all make you feel incompetent. No one can do it all. Don’t try to be superwoman and overexert yourself to keep an immaculate abode. It’s not worth it.  Your house will always need to be cleaned but your children will only be little for a short while. Enjoy every moment you have with them.

Giving Each Child an Equal Amount of Attention

Child #1 may or may not go through an adjustment period once baby #2 comes home. Having been the centre of attention and the apple of mommy’s eye for so long, she may find it difficult to share parental attention with her new baby brother – at first – or she may not.  You won’t know until it happens.  Invite child #1 to take on a helping role in caring for baby #2. Emphasize the importance of being a big sister and celebrate her new role in the family. Try your best to set aside some time for child #1 and you to do something special without baby even if it’s only reading a book or colouring or playing a short game.  Child #1 will appreciate any amount of un-divided attention she gets from either parent. Whatever you do, don’t feel guilty if you can’t give your first the same amount of attention as you once did. Lilah will eventually get used to the new family way and then feel as if she didn’t know any better.

Time with your Spouse

You’ll be tired. You’ll be grumpy. You’ll lack sleep. As hard as it feels at first, you’ll eventually get used to it.  Find ways to still spend time with your hubby once you both settle in to a groove with the new family circle.  He may or may not feel somewhat invisible to you once baby #2 shows up and you both become busier.  Take advantage of willing babysitters and try to get out for short bouts of time if only to talk over a cup of coffee. Keep those communication lines open and honest.

It’s the Simple Things that Will Matter the Most 

As with becoming a mother for the first time, you’ll find becoming a mother all over again will make you appreciate even more the little things in life. Things like hubby letting you sleep in, having a shower,getting out of the house and having adult conversation end up being wonderful treats once you’re a busy mama of two. Although you’ll be busier and have less time for yourself, you’ll cherish every moment you have with your little ones while they’re little because you know just how fast they grow up. The sacrifice is well worth the reward.

When all is said and done and people give you their advice on parenting multiple children, what matters most in the end is what is in your heart. Follow your motherly instincts and rely on your experience. No one knows your children better than you and don’t you forget that!
 
Thank you so much for sharing your tips, Bruna. They are both thoughtful and practical, and I really appreciate the support and advice from mamas like you who have gone before.


So we know she gives great advice, but also? What a beautiful family this lucky lady has!  You can read more about their adventures and Bruna's thoughts on motherhood here.

Ten Things I'd Forgotten About Having a New Baby

I'm breaking the rules for this weeks Listicle.  I am completely consumed by this tiny new being and this new way of life that he brings with him.  And I hope the List Master will forgive me for saying this, but in my opinion, new baby smell trumps new car smell any day!

Ten Things I'd Forgotten About Having a New Baby

1. How little sleep you actually get, and what sleep deprivation can do to your brain.

2.  That smell of absolute deliciousness. Even before they've had their first bath.

3.  Fluid retention and cankles.

4.  That I may want to throttle the Hubs when he asks if this is the first time the baby has woken to feed, when in fact it is the fourth.  But that all will be forgiven the moment he hands me a icy cold glass of water while I'm nursing, makes me a sandwich, or takes the baby from me at 4 am when my poor boobs just can't take any more and I need half an hour of sleep.

5.  That "sleep when the baby sleeps" isn't always possible.  There are other things to be done, like eating, showering, laundry, and this time around, there's also a big kid to look after.

6.  The hormone dip that occurs around day 3 after baby is born and reduces you to tears over the fact that the one pair of pants that fits you right now is in desperate need of a wash.

7.  That there is nothing as rejuvenating as 10 minutes to yourself to shower.

8.  Planting kisses on tiny hands and feet.

(Yes, those are flowers and butterflies on his bassinet sheets. Second child syndrome.)

9.  How long it takes for the belly to recede, and how pregnant you still look even a week after your tenant has vacated. 

10.  That friends and family are absolutely amazing.  There have already been so many gifts and offers of food and play dates for Lilah.  And our fridge has never been so stocked!  It reminds me how fortunate we are and makes me want to be a better friend/neighbour/relative when it's our turn to give back.

Henry

The first time I looked into his eyes

I fell in love again.

Tuesday, August 14, 9:33 am

Guest Post: Myth Busters

As you know, I get by with a little help from my friends.  Bloggy friends, that is!  I've asked some of my favourite bloggin' mamas to pitch in their two cents on making the transition from one child to two.

This week's guest poster is none other than Bianca of Bits of Bee.  Bianca is totally rockin' the mama of two gig, plus she works full time, makes time for herself, and always looks great doing it!  When I read her post, The Truth About Two, I knew I had to hear more on her thoughts about two kids - and this time she's dishing on having a boy.  Welcome, Bianca!

 

Myth Busters – The Truth About Boys

I’m so honoured to be a guest on Lilahbility this week, and as Amanda is settling into life with her beautiful little prince, I thought this would be the perfect time to fill her in on the changes she might face as a newbie to the wild and wonderful world of “boy”.

I too had a girl first, and was nervous about the changes that might come with having a boy. I constantly worried about making the switch from princesses and tea parties, to trucks and mud pies, and what on earth would I do with those Boy Bits?  Well I’m here to tell Amanda that it’ll be different, yes, but it’ll also be worth the wild ride. Here are some things I have discovered so far about having a boy:

1) While it is true that you are more likely to get pee-sprayed by the boy bits, you don't need the peepee teepee (fabric triangle sold in stores, with the purpose of covering up the bits while you switch to a fresh diaper). I have survived on skill alone, and have yet to get pee in the eye.

2) While it is very likely for your boy to steer away from your daughter’s baby dolls and opt instead for blocks and balls, you don't need to do a major toy overhaul. I suggest you encourage him to play with the toys that are available, and buy things only as he develops his own interests.

3) This might not be a scientific fact, but I can say from talking to many friends with boys, and from my own experience thus far, that potty training does take longer with boys. My daughter was completely out of diapers (day and night) by her 2nd birthday. My boy on the other hand is 2.5, and is far from being a regular potty user.

4) While the assumption is that boys are big toughies, the truth is, they're more emotional than you think! My boy is much more of a whiner and crier than my girl was, and my girl was definitely an emotional baby.

5) They've got the moves. I’m surprised by my boy’s agility. Not to say that my girl is clumsy, but my little guy can fly down the street on his run bike like a pro – weaving through tight spaces and taking corners with precision. He also has “moves like Jagger” as he likes to tell us regularly.

6) They're big cuddle bugs. My boy loves nothing more than hugs, snuggles and kissed with mama. Something wonderful to look forward to!

7) They're fearless - get out the Band Aids! My girl was always very cautious. She would slowly stick her toe into the water at lakes or pools. She would move like a snail when climbing a new obstacle, and would reach for my hand when entering new territory. But my boy, he moves at mach speeds, climbing fearlessly on everything he can.

8) Would you like some whine with your wine? Boys whine, and from my experience and from what my other mama friends have said, they can out-whine any girl on the block.

9) They really do become mama's boys. While there may have been a time in my life when I would make fun of a boy for being a “mama’s boy”, I’m now loving the favoritism. Nothing soothes him more than mama, and for now, I don’t mind one bit.

10) Get used to saying: “Take your hand out of your pants!” Naturally, they discover their bits at an early stage, and as a result, they regularly assume the Al Bundy position.

It’s going to be different, it’s going to be new, and it’s going to be totally fun. Enjoy every minute of it, and a big congratulations mama!

Thanks so much for sharing your tips, Bianca.  I'm already staring to climb this steep learning curve.  More to come on Baby Boy very soon!

10 Things My Parents Did Right

My family has had its fair share of dysfunction.  But even as a child of divorced parents and various step-parents, I certainly recognize several things my parents did right.  Now that I'm a parent myself, I can appreciate these things and more:

1.  Both parents taught me the value of hard work.

2.  My mom, true to her Libra roots, always had that work-life balance thing under control, and she led by example.

3.  Both parents encouraged my various athletic endeavours, and I grew up knowing that what my body is capable of is so much more important than what it looks like.

4.  My mom always used the proper names for male and female anatomy and made it clear that I should never be ashamed of my body nor any of its functions.

5.  My dad was financially able to provide me with many opportunities, which is a large part of what landed me in the fortunate position in which I find myself today, but he always provided just enough to do something, and never enough to sit around doing nothing.

6.  They were generally scary enough that I didn't misbehave (too much), but approachable enough that I could talk to them.

7.  They allowed me to follow my own interests and didn't try to live out their own dreams through me.

8.  They remained civil and did their best not to make disparaging comments about each other to their children.

9.  Both parents have ended up in beautiful, loving relationships, and they model what love and commitment should look like on a daily basis.

10. Above all else, they loved me, and I never, ever doubted that.  Ever.

Go visit the Listmaster for more retrospective parenting tips!

Now.

Now is...

Waiting for baby (who, by the way, is now three days late - but who's counting?)

Seeking shade for an afternoon snack.

Dressing up in leftover beads and rainbows from the Pride parade.

Sunset beach picnics.

Helping Mommy make her shopping list.

Sidewalk chalk.

Walking to Starbucks with Daddy.

Ice cream dates with special friends.

Summer is now, and now is good.

    Follow me on Instragram @Lilahbility

Guest Post: You Might Be a Mother of Two...

I am both honoured and excited to share today's guest post with you.  Lisa is not only the brains, voice, and typing fingers behind one of my favourite blogs, Schwartz Chronicles, she is also a personal friend and an all-around supportive, positive person.  Lisa and I go way back - before kids and even before marriage, to the days when we overshared in the bar after too many drinks instead of oversharing  on the internet.  (That's right, the pre-blogging days!) I always enjoy reading Lisa's take on motherhood, and I knew when I asked her that she would offer a fresh perspective on becoming a mommy of two.  The post below did not disapoint!

I was thrilled when Amanda asked me to write a guest post about making the transition from being the mother of one to being the mother to two. So many thoughts ran through my head.  I had ideas.  I had pieces of advice.  I had snippets of memories of things I had forgotten.  One thing I remember clearly, as if it happened yesterday, was waking up one morning not too far into being a mother to two and thinking, Oh my, I forgot how little sleep you get.   There may have been an f-bomb at the beginning of that thought.  But in the whole scheme of things, the lack of sleep doesn’t last long and is worth it because there is nothing quite like that newborn smell and those special snuggles shared in the quiet of the night.

Shamelessly stolen from Jeff Foxworthy’s, “You might be a redneck,”  You might the be the mother of two if……

1.  You might be the mother of two if the sound of a child crying doesn’t quite rattle you the same as it did when you had one.

2.  You might be the mother of two if going to the grocery store by yourself ranks right up there with a visit to the spa.

3.  You might be the mother of two if getting both kids to nap at the same time feels like a victory worthy of a gold medal.

4.  You might be the mother of two if you stretch the truth about the age of your youngest child to make a family outing more affordable (i.e. Disney Character Breakfast. Does it make it o.k. if he was two when we made the reservation?).

5.  You might be the mother of two if your oven timer has become a turn taking timer and you almost forget what the timer was meant to do.

6.  You might be the mother of two if taking care of one child feels like a break.

7.  You might be the mother of two if you often utter the phrase, “Could the two of you stop tormenting each other.”

8.  You might be the mother of two if the kids have been asleep for hours, Treehouse is still on and you don’t even notice.

9. You might be the mother of two if you can’t remember the last time you closed the door to use the bathroom or went to the bathroom alone.

10.  You might be the mother of two if at the end of the day a hug, a kiss and a snuggle fills your heart with love and makes it all worth while.

I can’t wait to meet the newest addition to the Lilahbility family.  Do you have any “you might be the mother of two” one liners to add?

Go stop by Schwartz Chronicles and see what Lisa and family have been up to this summer  and while you're there, you can check out Captain Canada's wonderful photos of their amazing adventures.

Wordless Wednesday: Beach.