Dear Chocolate

Dear Chocolate,

I'm sorry to do this to you, since you've been there for me through thick and thin (mostly thick), but I have to be honest. It's just not working anymore.

You promise to make me feel better if I take you back but it's always short-lived. And then I come crashing down from the high into the waiting arms of guilt and disgust. We just keep repeating this pattern over and over. It's time to stop the insanity!

We can still be friends, but we'll only be able to see each other on special occasions. Like Christmas. And Easter. And Hallowe'en, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, and Lilah's Birthday. Okay, maybe April Fool's Day, Secretaries' Day... oh, and Chocolate Day(s), of course! And maybe the occasional quickie. But the point is, no more daily rendez-vous. No more sneaking around after the baby's gone to bed. You'll be seeing a whole lot less of me.

When you catch a glimpse of me in line at the grocery store, don't call out to me. Don't try to get my attention. I will ignore you. Trust me, this will be better for both of us. Oh, and tell your friends, Cookies, Ice Cream, and Cake that I won't be giving into their temptations either. You hear me?

I'm sorry, Chocolate, we've had a good run. You were an important part of my life, and I'll always look back on our times together with fond memories. But now it's over.

Love,

Me

I Have a New Shadow...

Watch out, old shadow, there's a new sheriff in shadow town. And she kicks your butt. She's with me through thick and thin, light or dark. It doesn't matter to her where I am or what I'm doing, she's gotta be right there with me. When I'm in the kitchen fixing her meals, she's hanging off my legs. When I'm in the bedroom getting dressed, she's snatching clothes out of the drawer and knocking over stacks of shoeboxes. Even when I'm headed to the bathroom, I hear the inevitable pitter-patter of little feet, always just a step or two behind me.

I do love my new shadow to bits, but...

Is it really any wonder that Nap Time is so sacred at my house?

Lucky Me

I woke up this morning feeling compelled to count my many blessings. It's really something I should do more often - I have it pretty darn good, afterall! So, in honour of the fact that Canadian Thanksgiving is only 138 days away, here are some of the countless ways in which my life totally rocks:

• I have an amazing Hubs, who loves me treats me with respect, picks up my slack, puts up with my nagging and mood swings, and is a wonderful and involved father.
• I'm Canadian, so I get to brag about a year maternity leave, free(ish) healthcare, and Justin Bieber. (Hah! I managed to work him into yet another blog post!)
• I have this week's episode of Glee on PVR. Gaga!!!
• I have a sound roof over my head and plenty of food on my table and have never had to spend much time worrying about money.
• I live in Vancouver. We have ocean, we have mountain, we have ridiculously overpriced real estate. What's not to love?
• I have a great job waiting for me, and I can afford to go back to work only four days a week and spend the extra day with Lilah.
• I actually like my in-laws. All of them.
• I have fantastic friends and family, who would drop everything to be by my side if I really needed them, even if I'm not always the best at returning phone calls and touching base.
• Though you wouldn't know it to look out my window at the moment, summer is just around the corner!
• I get to be mommy to the cutest, sweetest, loveliest little girl on the planet.

Really, how did I get so lucky?

Jinx

Well, it seems I have jinxed myself by bragging about my little angel's sleeping habits. Hold your maniacal laughter. Lilah's still sleeping just fine. So well, in fact, that last night she managed to sleep for 11 hours with a foreign object lodged in her sleeper. And not just any foreign object. She couldn't have been playing with something soft on the change table before bed last night, like a wash cloth or a teeny tiny pillow. No, it had to be her toothbrush that made its way into her pajamas. I blame the Hubs. He's the one who got her ready for bed last night. But it could just as easily have been me. Gah. With parents like us, who needs enemies?

Back to the jinx. I've been having the hardest time getting to sleep and staying that way. That'll teach me for being smug and bragging about my daughter's sleeping habits. The problem is, now I'm a Napzi and a Zombie all rolled into one. Two for the price of one, and twice as scary. And far more likely to make absent-minded parenting blunders like putting my child to bed with a toothbrush digging into her back. Sigh. It's a vicious cycle.

Anyway, two things have been proven by this inadvertent experiment:
1) The old saying "sleeping like a baby" may not actually be that far off. I have a problem with the metal springs in our sagging mattress digging into me, so I can only imagine what a toothbrush would feel like!
2) Lilah deserves better parents.

The Third Person

Since the Hubs and I welcomed a third person into our family, we've started speaking in the third person as well. What is it about babies that brings out our inner Disco Stu?

Obviously, this is an aspect of child-directed speech. But I've found some other creative uses for speaking in the third person "for the benefit of the baby." Here are some examples:

"Maybe Daddy will take you out for a walk and give Mommy a little break..."
"Maybe Daddy could get Mommy another glass of wine..."
"Is Daddy really going to wear that shirt?"
"Do you think Daddy needs a haircut? Mommy does..."

It's brilliant! As long as I use a cutesie voice and talk in the third person, I can get away with being a total nag!

And please, people, if you're suddenly feeling terribly sorry for the Hubs, don't bother. He can dish it out, too:

"Maybe if Mommy shaved her legs once in a while..."

(*No marriages were actually harmed in the making of this blog post*)

Wordless Wednesday

Confessions of a Napzi

I've been dubbed a "Napzi" by fellow mom and blogger Harriet, thanks to my strict rules and scheduling around Lilah's nap times. Was I shocked and appalled at this moniker? Hardly. I embrace the title, and in fact, I'm the tiniest bit smug about it. It took what felt like months of consistency and hard work to convince Lilah to nap for longer than one sleep cycle (which, for her, tends to be about forty minutes), but once she started consolidating her naps and taking them at fairly consistent times of day around the age of six months, I became a much happier mommy. And no way am I going to risk screwing that up now!

Occasionally, out of necessity, we do switch things up and allow her to have one of her naps in the car or on the go, but for the most part, Lilah takes her naps in her crib at approximately the same time each day (give or take 45 minutes or so). This is where some of my innate personality flaws really pay off! My total lack of flexibility? Wasn't such a great thing when the Hubs and I were doing the obligatory summer backpacking around Europe in our early twenties. But it sure has worked for Lilah's sleep habits! What can I say? I am a slave to my left brain. I like rules. And routine. And knowing exactly when I'm going to be able to get a break, take some time for myself, or indulge in a nap of my own.

When we went on vacation in January, the Hubs and I received plenty of compliments on how well Lilah was coping with the plane ride, time change, new surroundings, etc. We graciously accepted these compliments in public and then gloated over them in private. After all, it was our commitment to the naps and routine that got us all through that vacation feeling well-rested and relaxed; feeling like we'd actually had a vacation. Sure, we didn't venture too far afield or do the types of touristy things we used to do when it was just the two of us, but that weren't expecting to be able to do those things while vacationing with a six-month-old baby anyway.

In Lilah's case, letting the daytime naps slide also affects her night sleeps. And yes, we've worked on those, too. So, in fact, I'm not just a Napzi but a... Sleepzi... Sleezi? That sounds dirty. But that's another post for another day. Suffice it to say that a little training has made an all-around great sleeper out of our li'l Lilahbility, and happier, more well-rested parents out of me and the Hubs. (And before you call the parenting police, no, we did not leave our baby in her room to cry it out for hours on end.) I'm not going to get all Judgy McJudgerson about how other people deal with their baby's sleep. I'm just sayin'... this is what worked for us. And I have no regrets.

I have spent countless hours discussing baby sleep with other parents, and it seems as though you are either a Napzi or a Zombie. And if you think you're neither, you're either totally delusional, or you won the baby lottery. We all know which side I'm on. Time to head on over to Juju Be Baby and hear a Zombie's side of the story.

Mirror, Mirror, On the Wall...

Who's the vainest baby of them all? It's Lilah!

Check out these pics of Lilah making sweet love to her own reflection in the oven window. (Can you tell I've finally uploaded a whole bunch of photos and videos that were wasting away on my camera?)

"Well hello there, cutie. What's a reflection like you doing all alone in a place like this? Can I buy you dinner, or do you just want to make out? Mwaaaah! Oh reflection, you're so DREAMY!"

Wordless Wednesday

Multi-tasking Baby

Walking and spitting, spitting and walking... two of Lilah's favourite activities of the moment.

In this video, my amazing baby does both... simultaneously! Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is pure talent.

Hurricane Lilah

Happy Mother's Day!

To all the mommas out there,

To the mommas who wear the "badges" of motherhood: stretch marks, C-section scars, bite marks, carpal tunnel, shoulder injuries, aches and pains, bumps and bruises,

To the mommas who squeezed a watermelon-sized baby out of their lady business,

To the adoptive mommas, birth mommas, step-mommas, mommas-to-be, grandma mommas, single mommas,

(All the women, who independent, throw your hands up at me... Just kidding!)

To the mommas whose formerly adult living rooms have become playrooms, whose cars are now full of carseats, toys, and crumbs,

To all the mommas who unknowingly walk around all day with spit-up/drool/snot on their clothing,

To the mommas who make dinner/empty the dishwasher/talk on the phone/type on the computer with a baby or child hanging off them or crawling all over them,

To all the mommas whose lives have been changed forever by a tiny person,

I wish you a very Happy Mother's Day!!!

I leave you now with my three favourite Mother's Day posts:

strocel.com

seetheorun

listentolena

A Few of My Favourite Mommy Things

On Sunday I will accept my award for "best mommy in a supporting role" for my performance in "The Life and Times of One Li'l Lilahbility: The First Ten Months." In addition to the Academy, I'd like to thank the following:

(These are a few of my favourite mommy tools. Some are useful, some are invaluable, and some are just plain cool. All have made life as a mom easier in some way.)

• The Ergo Baby Carrier: Distributes baby's weight to the hips and lower body. Comfy for both the wearer and wearee. Gotta love that baby-wearin'!
• White noise machine: Keeps baby sleeping for longer and cancels out household noises. In Lilah's case, it has become part of her sleep routine and acts as a signal that it's nap time or night time. The second this puppy goes on, she lays her head on my shoulder and sucks her thumb, succumbing to the inevitable... zzzzzz...
• Teething Bling: A necklace that looks nice on but also functions as a safe teething ring for baby! It also has a breakaway clasp for that freakishly strong baby in your life.
• Nursing tops: I have several, but this one is my favourite.
• Dustbuster: Now that Lilah's on finger foods, this gets used at least 3 times a day!
• Body pillow: Okay, this was more essential during my actual pregnancy, but I managed to hang onto it well into Lilah's ninth month. Which means it was an entity in our marital bed for almost a year and a half. So much so that it (he) received a name (taken straight out of The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy). The Hubs finally gave me an ultimatum. Either the body pillow had to go, or he would. Tough choice, but I ultimately "did the right thing" and chose the Hubs. (Sorry, Phil. I miss you, but the Hubs plays with my hair when I can't fall asleep. AND he does dishes. I hope to have an excuse to bring you back into the bed. Someday. Down the road. But not for a while, so don't get your hopes up. Lilah is quite enjoying her only child status at the moment.)
• Breast pump: Many a morning have I communed with this little beaut. We have a love/hate relationship, but it has certainly proven to be worth its weight in liquid gold.
• Totseat: A high chair on-the-go that folds up into a little pouch and fits in the diaper bag or stroller. (Many thanks to C for sending this all the way from Norway!)
• Teething tablets: Our saving grace!

Yes, moms are awesome. (And we work extremely hard. And we never stop. So go on and pamper the crap out of us on Sunday!) But we also have some pretty cool tricks up our sleeves. I don't think I could have survived the past ten months without some of these things in my bag of tools.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

10 Month Stats

At our pediatrician appointment on Tuesday (oops, I mean Wednesday!), Lilah came in at:


-9.3kg or 20 lbs, 8 oz (roughly the 70th percentile for weight)

-77cm or 30 inches (97th percentile for height)

-46.8cm or 18.5 inches (97th percentile for head circumference)

Since the Hubs and I had the only sweepstakes entries, looks like I'm the big winner. Although we both thought she was a lot heavier tha 20 1/2 lbs, so if we were playing by Price is Right rules, we'd have to have a do-over. Judging by the strain on my shoulder alone, I would have guessed she weighs about 50 lbs!

Mommy Brain Part Deux

Nothing like showing up at the pediatrician's office on the wrong day to prove that having a child shrinks your gray matter! In my case, I fear the brain damage may be irrevocable.

Oh, well, back we go tomorrow for our real 10 month check-up. The Hubs and I have already placed our bets as to our little chunky monkey's current weight. If you want to join the betting pool*, leave a comment below with your guess**.

*Contest closes at 11:30 am PST on Wednesday, May 5. Grand prize is bragging rights. Good luck!

**Last weight recorded was 19 lbs, 12 oz around 8 1/2 mos.

10 Random Thoughts

To celebrate Lilah's 10 month birthday, here are just 10 of the many random thoughts swirling around this mommy's brain:

1. My 10-month-old is already acting like a teenager. She goes into her room and closes the door on me (sometimes rather forcefully) and won't let me in!

2. Lilah's digestive system may finally have sorted itself out. Constipation has not been an issue for well over a month!

3. I still need to find childcare for when I go back to work. Ugh!

4. It's official, my baby is a genius! Yesterday she used the sign for "milk" before and during nursing. I suspected she was doing the sign for "more" when eating things like blueberries (her second favourite thing in the entire world), but it's hard to tell because the sign for "more" looks a lot like hand-clapping when babies do it, and Lilah has been clapping her hands for quite some time. But now I know for sure - she's definitely signing "milk." Mensa, here she comes!

5. Someone really needs to invent a zipper that can be done up with one hand.

6. I could really do with a fudge brownie or a nanaimo bar right about now, but I still have about 5 pounds of "baby weight" (hah! more like cookie weight!) to lose before I go back to work. Otherwise I will need to buy a new wardrobe. I could probably button most of my work pants, but it wouldn't be a pretty sight, or all that professional-looking, for that matter.

7. I might be the only person in Vancouver who doesn't give a flying crap that the Canucks are in the Stanley Cup playoffs. If anything, I'm secretly wishing they get knocked out soon so they can stop highjacking my TV when there are good shows on. Thank goodness for PVR!

8. I'm really sick of having Lilah's snot all over my clothes. She's had the. snottiest. nose. EVER. for a week and a half now. I'm pretty sure it's teething-related, since there have been no other cold or flu symptoms. But I would like to see a tooth come through to confirm this theory and put the leaky nose on hiatus for a little while.

9. Who the hell is Justin Bieber, and when did he get so popular???

10. I now have 13 whole followers (ahem, I mean "readers")! Thanks for putting up with my bullying!

What is it about Thursdays???

I like Thursday. Thursday is almost Friday and Friday is practially the weekend. Thursday is also great because that's the day Lilah and I get together with a group of moms and babes who live in our neighbourhood. Lilah likes Thursdays too, apparently. That's the day she always chooses to showcase a new skill. The coffee shop where we usually meet the other mommies and babies has been witness to some of Lilah's biggest milestones to date!

Several Thursdays ago, she let go of the table she was cruising and stood unassisted for the very first time. Last Thursday, she took her first shuffling, wobbly steps without holding onto anything. She didn't do it again until this past Thursday, when she took about five or six steps in a row - once at the coffee shop, and then again at the park as we soaked up some sunshine before dinner.

I haven't been sneaking her sips of coffee or anything, I swear! It must be a combination of showing off for her little friends and picking up on Mommy's relief that the weekend is approaching.