Confessions of a Massively Pregnant Crazy Woman

This is a Monday Listicle on a Tuesday, so clearly I am late.  That seems to be a general theme in my life these days, seeing as today is baby #2's due date, and there is very little indication that he is planning to show up for his own party anytime soon.  Like his older sister was three years ago, he is content to hang out a little longer on the inside.  I'm going to chalk it all up to the fact that I give good womb.  There are worse things in life, I do realize.

Remember a couple weeks ago, when I was all Zen about waiting for baby to arrive?  Well, I'm doing my best to stay in that headspace, and I'm certainly not as manic as I was around this time with Lilah, but hormones, heat, and chasing after a three-year-old are doing things to my brain.  I think I might be turning into that crazy pregnant lady again.  Here are my confessions:

1.  Yesterday I called the Hubs to pick us up in his car because I could not walk three more blocks with Lilah.  In my defense, we had gotten on the wrong bus on the way back from Science World, got stuck on said bus for an extra 15 minutes due to construction, the bus was crowded and cooking in the heat and humidity, Lilah was complaining that she was thirsty and had to poop, and I'd already walked several long blocks after getting off the bus. Aaannnd the last three blocks would have been uphill.  (Okay, a slight incline, but still...)

2.  The other day, I sneeze-peed. That was a new experience for me, and not one with which I am altogether comfortable.

3.  I haven't been sleeping well at night, and last night the Toopy & Binoo theme song taunted me by playing itself over and over again in my head all. night. long.

4.  As much as I want to enjoy Lilah's last moments as an only child and make them special for her, I'm falling down on the job a bit.  Fatigue, heat, and hormones are making it challenging to always be as patient as I would like to be.

5.  Right now, I easily weigh as much, if not more than, my 6'2'' husband. 

6.  The skin over my abdomen is stretched so tight that if this baby doesn't come out the traditional way soon, I am convinced my skin may just tear open.

7.  As uncomfortable as it is, I'd be  more than willing to let my doc get all up in my lady biznaz at my next appointment if it brings me any closer to meeting this little guy.

8.  My feet are dirty, sweaty, and stinky all the time.  The only shoes I can fit my swollen feet into right now are cheap rubber flip-flops, which make them sweat like crazy and pick up all kinds of dirt.  I have to bathe my feet every night before getting into bed.

9.  I no longer fit into any of my maternity pants, so I'm alternating between three or four summer dresses.  It's getting a little old.

10.  People keep accusing me of having had conversations with them of which I have zero recollection.  Either it's one giant conspiracy, or I really am losing my mind!