Saturday, July 31, 2010

Try Not to Miss Me Too Much!

Dear Readers,

I will be taking a short break from blogging.  We're off to Ontario's beautiful cottage country to kill two birds with one stone; reuniting with my family and attending a friend's wedding.  I have a few posts scheduled so you'll still get your fix while I'm gone, but all the eating, drinking, swimming, boating, napping, and visiting I intend to do will probably cut into my blogging time.  Don't worry, I'll be back before you know it for some more oversharing and droning on ad nauseum about my kid.  Doesn't that sound like fun?

Yours always,



Dear Burglars,

You thought that announcing my departure was your cue to move in and rob my apartment, didn't you?  Well I've foiled you again!  A good friend of ours has agreed to house-sit for us, so the apartment will be inhabited while we are gone.  In fact, this "friend" is actually a huge, burly man who makes Brock Lesnar look like a pipsqueak.  And said individual doesn't plan on venturing outside.  At all.  He will be there the entire time.  He never sleeps.  And he keeps a man-eating Pitbull.  Also, we hired an army of ninja robots to guard the premises.  They have no human emotions and will tear you limb from limb no matter how much you plead for your life.  And if that doesn't do the trick, my attack kitty will swoop in and finish you off.

Scared yet?

Besides, we have nothing of any value.  So go rob somebody else.




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